I love the fact that I grew up going to church. Love it. I love the friends that I made, the memories I have, and the understanding I have about God. They all came from church. Even though I loved growing up in church there is one thing that left a bad taste in my mouth. In the churches I grew up in everyone acted like they were perfect. Nobody talked about sin like they had it. It was always talked about as being a bad thing that we need to avoid or as something that will destroy us. The only time anyone ever talked about their sin was when they got caught. About once a year a prominent figure in the church would get caught in sin and scandal would break out. I saw guys confess in front of the entire church that they were sorry for their affair, porn addiction, or something scandalous. At least for a while it would scare me to try to not sin. I think it scared everyone else from talking about their sins.
We should try to avoid sin but the best way to avoid it is to talk about it. Church people tend to want to hide their sins for fear that someone might find out that they are not perfect.
When I read through the Bible I see stories about jacked up people who love God. Noah obeyed God and is a Biblical hero. After the flood he got drunk and fell asleep naked. When his kid went to cover him it caused a huge scene and he put a curse on him. David is said to have a heart after God. He slayed a giant and became a Biblical hero. He later went on to have an affair and murder his mistress’ husband. Peter knew Jesus. He followed Him for three years. He even walked on H20 with Him. And yet Peter denied that he even knew Jesus. To prove that he didn’t know Jesus he started cussing like a sailor. See what I mean? Great people of God who did great things for God and yet they were still jacked up. The point is that you can know Jesus and still not be perfect.
The Bible says, “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” James 5:16 (NIV).
I am not perfect. I make mistakes. I think that sometimes people think that pastors don’t struggle with sin. That’s a lie from the devil. Don’t believe me? Well…
- I often call other drivers jack holes. I don’t have a fat clue what a jack hole is. I took the first part of a cuss word and subtracted the cuss word. I then added that to a different cuss word that means the same thing but this time I took off the first part of the word which was the cuss word. This is my way of getting around cursing. I get so impatient with other drivers that I call them jack holes. That’s wrong.
- I struggle with lust. If I allow my mind to it will go to very unhealthy places. I don’t look at porn. I check out why movies are rated what they are rated. I try my best to bounce my eyes. To bounce my eyes means that I look the opposite direction whenever I see a girl that I’m attracted to. I’m madly in love with my wife but if I’m not careful I will lust.
- I’m selfish to the core. I like what I like and I think about myself first. I have to work hard to put others first.
- I am on Weight Watchers because I cannot control my eating. It’s an addiction. A few weeks ago I ate at least 30 pizza bagel bites. They weren’t that good. They were cold. I had already eaten dinner. They were left over from my church small group and I went to town on them. I felt gross but I couldn’t stop.
See what I mean. I sin. And that’s just a few of my struggles. There are days where I feel so close to God I feel like I’ll never sin again. And then there are other days where I chose to do something selfish even though I know it’s sin. The truth is that even when you know Jesus you will still sin. I think Christ Followers would be better off if they admitted that and then found a safe place to confess their sins. I don’t think that you need to publicly tell everyone your struggles, but I do think that confessing your sin to another Christ Follower is healthy. It not only will cause you to think twice about doing it again but it also allows you to live in the light without any deep dark secrets. Find someone that admits that they know Jesus and that they still sin.
Did you grow up in church? Do you think that you could ever talk about your sins to someone else?
Great post and your honesty in your writing is one of the reasons why I come back each day. You are a good example for me about living a Godly life that reflects what I believe. But here’s a secret, I am a sinner too. Wish I could do better, but it’s a daily struggle. Sometimes I do O.K., other times I fall on my face. There have been a few trusted folks along the way that I have opened up to and they helped me to accept the forgiveness that was there all along. Blessings.
Daniel, I love that you read and comment every day. I’m honored.
Rob, thanks for being so transparent here. It means a lot, really. I can relate to you specifially on two of your “points” (selfishness and lust). Daily need to surrender both to God because I try to manage/fix it myself all the time. Often I’ll isolate myself thinking I don’t “need anybody” and just need to deal with it… thats a lie right there.
That is a lie and it’s jacked with people for years.
Great post! I too, love your honesty. And, can connect with loving that I grew up in the church but it also left me very confused as far as a lack of authenticity… I’m reading Veneer by Timothy Willard and LOVE exploring this topic…
I hadn’t heard of Veneer. I will have to check it out. Thanks.
Thanks for your honesty Rob. I have expressed my struggle with several things. Porn for one. That is why I have Covenant Eyes on my computer. It is best that I just not make it available. i do think there is a time and a place for confession. Find someone to trust and be real.
I agree. Covenant Eyes is great. I wish they had it for TV’s.
good post, also appreciate the realness of it. although, 30 pizza bites might just make you my new hero.
Thanks but I felt awful afterwads.
Good points. In this sense, I think Catholics uphold an important tradition of faith–confession. I don’t think you have to confess to a priest to be forgiven, but it does provide accountability and reenforces the need to confess sin.
I agree. Confessing to someone you know is much harder then confessing to a priest.
Rob, Thanks and this is so true. One of the things I luv about Water’s Edge is there is an openess to allow sharing whether it be with a pastor [without condemnation] or in a small group. We are all jacked up and each of us struggle with areas in our lives whether that is pride, lust of the eyes and/or whatever else [because of our fallen nature].
Our concentration should be on our relationship with Christ vs a focus on works or what we do/don’t do, then the rest can fall into place as we grow in Him which is a lifelong pursuit.
A guy recently shared with me something Oswald Chambers said in a devotional [we were talking about how the Kingdom of God dwells within us], “The main thing about Christianity is not the works we do, but the relationship we maintain [with Christ] and the atmosphere produced by that relationship.”
Love that quote from Oswald. Thanks for the comment.
I echo the words of Paul when I struggle with my sin:
“But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? I thank God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!
So then, with the mind I myself serve the law of God, but with the flesh the law of sin”
we have to be sure to get an interest in Christ. If we intend to mortify any sin without it, it will never be done.
Thanks Moe. Without Christ it’s just discipline and my discipline is weak!
I did not grow up in church, but I would say that there aren’t many people I know in my church that I would feel comfortable confessing my sin to.
I hear ya. It has to be established and become a part of the community. It’s rare to find.
Ah, the age old knowing about sin, acknowleging it in our heads, but not wanting to share it. I agree completly that sharing is an imperative part of getting over our sin. I battled with numerous things over the years (see my point callin it numerous things instead of specific names). Having someone to share it with (who will not judge) and put you some sort of “12 steps” to freedom program, but that will listen to you makes all the difference and helps with true repentance.
On a side note, just subscribed to the blog via email, so I am loving the daily post. Keep them coming brother.
Joseph, thanks for subscribing! That means a lot. I post 5 days a week and sometimes on Sat. How did you find my blog?
Amen, Rob!
Sin thrives in the dark. Bringing it to light takes away so much of it’s power. I wholeheartedly believe this. Good stuff.
Thanks Mandie!
Great post, I’ve been blessed with small groups and fellow believers who are open and honest with their struggles, that has enabled me, be it ever so slowly, to be more open and honest with other believers. The shame of sin is a powerful tool of the devil to keep us from realizing we aren’t alone in our struggles. Keeping sin in the dark also prevents us from being able to love, encourage, and lift each other up. The other thing that allowed me to open up, I wasn’t brow-beaten or shamed for sharing, but loved and accepted with grace and kindness, even when I kept struggling and confessing my imperfection.
That is so crucial. Finding someone who will tell you the truth in a loving way and accept you when you fall is hard to do. When you do it’s so comforting.
The root cause of every one of my sins is selfishness.
I think it’s essential to get an accountability partner. They’ll annoy you sometimes, and when they are that means you’re caught up in something bad…which is why you need an accountability partner!
Ricky, true. I just wish I could keep one. I do great at this for a few weeks or months and then we lose touch.
Thanks Ron. I appreciate you stopping by.
I actually grew up in God, not in church. Church always put me to sleep, and unfortunately I snore…quite loud!
Umm….what was your question? LOL
I hear ya about the snoring. Me too. Thanks for the comment.
I did not grow up in church, but every time I visited one with either friends or relatives I always felt judged. Like people knew that we didn’t have a lot of money or that I didn’t belong. I hadn’t been to church in months when I went to Water’s Edge for the first time and it was the first and only church I have ever felt comfortable in. Now that I’ve moved and started looking for a new church I can’t find one that makes me comfortable. As far as the sin goes, I used to have one friend that I told everything to. She knew my great and not so great moments. We’ve grown apart in the last year and I yearn to be able to speak with someone so honestly again.
Deanna, it can be hard to find a church home but it’s worth it to keep looking. It’s worth it to find a community where you can confess and not be judged.