I don’t cuss…often. I have said 1 cuss word in 23 years. Some of you would not even consider what I said a cuss word. It was Jack-donkey. You see I don’t even like to spell out cuss words.
With that being said there are some things that drive me to want to cuss. For example…
- When one of my kids is sitting on my lap and they decide to strategically kick their heel into my family jewels. It’s as if they think I’m horse and they want to yell giddy up. It hurts like a mother.
- When a guy stands next to me at the urinal. There are rules to proper urinal etiquette. There should at all times be a urinal in between two guys.
- When I’m using a public restroom stall and somebody walks in to the bathroom. There are a few things that I know will happen. They will try to A. open the locked door of the stall that I’m sitting on. B. Peek through the gigantor crack between the stall door and stall wall. I mean, seriously, could they not have invented a way to make it so somebody doesn’t play peak a poo with you when they walk by? C. They will have a conversation with me. There is nothing I’d rather do than not talk to you while using the bathroom. D. I will walk out and wash my hands next to them. This is bad because they will then see my face and know that I’m responsible for that funky smell. I hate using public bathrooms.
- When my computer doesn’t work. I am thankful that I have a computer but when it is slow or doesn’t work it makes me want to cuss.
- Traffic.
- When I try to put on pants on my babies. They will kick the leg out that I have just wrestled into their pants as soon as I get the other leg in.
- When I’m late to a meeting.
- When I stub my toe. I do a great job of walking around in the dark. When I have to get up at night I am like a ninja. I’m quiet and stealth like. Sometimes somebody leaves something out of place and my toe finds it. When it does I want to cuss like a Quentin Tarantino movie.
- When I’m tired. I am grouchy when I’m tired. Everything makes me want to cuss when I’m tired.
- High maintenance people.
- When my twins use their super mutant baby strength to knock a bottle out of my hand. That milk goes everywhere.
- When I try to multi-task and I end up dropping my electric toothbrush and it spins toothpaste all over the place on it’s way down to the ground.
- When I see that the toothpaste from my electric toothbrush has spun all over my clothes which were nicely placed on the ironing board.
- When I get lost and I don’t have anyone one to tell me where to go. I hate getting lost.
- When I walk out onto the stage a church and I panic because I’m not sure if my zipper is up.
So the question is why don’t I cuss?
I know other Christ Followers who do cuss on a regular basis. I have heard people say that there is sometimes no other word to describe how you feel. I’ve even heard people say that substituting cuss words for other words like crap, shoot, dang, and jack-hole (yes I made this one up and yes it’s my word of choice when I get upset. Oh…and yes it’s a combination of two different cuss words minus the cuss words). So why don’t I cuss?
Well…
- I wasn’t raised by parents who cuss. They set an example for me.
- I don’t want my kids to cuss. I hate it when I hear other parents cuss in front of their kids. I don’t want my kids to learn cussing from me.
- My conscience won’t let me. I feel guilty saying certain words. Some people don’t feel guilty saying those same words. Other people feel guilty saying some of the words that I say. To me it’s not a matter of legalism. I just don’t feel comfortable cussing.
- I want to set an example for others.
1 Timothy 4:12 – “Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity” (Underline mine).
I have friends who love God and feel free to cuss. This isn’t a judgment against cussing. I have a long way to go. I think that God looks at our heart and when I want to cuss it’s a reflection of the issues that I have. The purpose of my blog is to make you laugh and think. That’s the goal of this post.
How do you feel about cussing?
Rob,
At work there are only two urinals. I cannot get a urinal between me and the other guy. I definitely don’t want to talk to anyone. I hate to see someone talking on their cell phone while I’m standing there. And I hate to hear someone on their cellphone while in a stall.
The only fight my wife and I have ever had was over a “cuss” word. Due to the King James in 1 Samuel 25:25 I told my son that “pisseth” was not a bad word. He begged to differ. We fussed which led to a big fight between us. Cussing is not a good thing.
Larry, that’s funny. I didn’t know that pisseth was in the Bible. I’ll have to remember that one.
I don’t cuss and really believe it is not good for a Christ-follower to do. I really get friend when pastors cuss, especially from the pulpit. I even have a gut-wrench when I hear “suck” “screw” and some other slang terms that border on tasteless (to me). But I realize I am ultimately responsible for my words. I choose not to cuss.
Bill, good thoughts today. Thanks for sharing.
should be “fried” not friend. where is the world did that come from?
Bill, I don’t know where it came from but I knew what you meant.
I hate when you’re at the urinal with flip flops and someone rolls up next to you and your feet start getting splashed, sick. It ain’t good Rob, it ain’t good.
Ryan, this made me laugh out loud.
Teaching 9 year olds how to do 3 digit times 2 digit multiplication makes me want to cuss, but I like my job, so I restrain. I cuss maybe once or twice a year, usually retelling someone else’s story or joke. I think it makes people sound ignorant, plus it ain’t classy. And all your reasons too. I cringe when adults cuss around or at children & it makes me nervous to bring our kids around them one day.
Monica, it makes me nervous as well.
It’s wrong unless you’re in traffic.
Ricky, score one for you. That made me laugh.
So would you say it’s OK to cuss if you are alone stuck in traffic? It’s like farting. You are respectful and don’t want to do it in front of others, but sometimes, you gotta laid the fart down with authority. Sometimes it makes you feel good.
I don’t cuss much, but I’ve learned that words wether cuss or other way, should never be used to destroy our neighbors (others). I can say “F-U” to someone and it will have the same effect as gossiping about that person. It destroys.
Moe, I agree. It’s all about your heart.
and your fart
Arny, now that’s funny.
YES!!
Ry and Rob,
#2,300,127 why I don’t where flip flops…. I’m a reformed cusser… Doing my best one word at a time.
Brian
Brian, thanks for the comment. What are some other reasons that you don’t wear flip flops?
I would ask, what makes a choice 4 letter word different from any other? Why is saying a combination of two cuss words OK but not the cuss word itself? It seems to me the issue has more to do with the intent or spirit behind the word. Cuss words are generally used with ill intent, mean spirit, anger, or in order to tear down. But is it really any better to use a “non cuss word” as a substitute if the ill intent, mean spirit or anger behind the word is the same?
In the spirit of full disclosure (as the news folks like to say), I use both regular and substitute cuss words, I’m not proud of this and try not to use them as I realize my speech should be holy, uplifting, and positive. It’s an area in which I’m still a work in progress.
Sirvhim, well said!
Though I agree with some of what you say, there is one point I disagree with. For a long time, I had the same issue. What constitutes as a cuss word? Is it what society says? Who gets to dictate it? After doing some thinking on it, I held it to the “mob rules” rule. Here is what I mean. As christians we live our lives by the Bible’s standard of conduct the best we can. Now, also, because we are part of society we follow a certain standard of acceptablity. By the bulk of society, the MOB, so to speak, there has been a definate difference in saying “jack wagon” and saying “mother-F—“. Knowing this, as chritians, we should always keep in mind that yes the bible dosen’t out line a list, but our surroundings and the MOB have made it clear what is Taboo, and considered against what a Christian should say.
Good stuff today. I do not cuss regularly, but every now and then there are situations. Like when I hit my finger with a hammer, when I work long and hard at something and really mess it up, when I turn hateful, or when I need to just scream at the world.
Daniel, do you hammer often?
This is an interesting post. Of all the reply’s here, I’d say that I would have to agree with Sirvhim the most.
What is interesting is that you see themes of graphic speech in the bible when someone is passionate or angry. In Matthew 5, Jesus warns of the dangers of calling someone a fool, yet in Matthew 23 he calls the pharisees fools. This was a VERY strong word in those days! Let’s not forget to mention the time he called them a brood of vipers in Matthew 12.
Also interesting is that the prophet Isaiah refers to our righteous acts as filthy rags, or in today’s literal translation, bloody tampons. Wow! Talk about harsh, inappropriate language!
In specific circumstances, harsh language can be a great way to get your point across, show passion, show anger, or even show a lack of self control if it isn’t tempered.
I think we should always be intentional about what we say. I have to be honest and admit that when it comes to the “traditional” cuss words, I have a hard time elevating the words I think are acceptable over the ones they won’t say on TV. In my opinion, the word itself is irrelevant, it all means the same thing.
Josh, I think you bring up some good points. It does all mean the same thing but if you kid said Sh*! or they say poop it is different.
In the Bible, Paul uses a Greek word that is the modern day equivalent of the s word. Like I said I’m not legalistic about this. God looks at our heart. I just want to set an example.
Good, well thought out point with great examples.
I don’t do it and don’t like it, but do not judge others who do so. And the Tennessee Volunteers football season made me want to cuss.
Matt, I hear ya. The Lakers season last year had the same affect on me.
Funny this post should come a week almost to the day, that our family instituted a swear jar. It is that important to us that no “fowl” language be represented in our home. Catch is, it even pertains to visitors, so visitor’s beware!! Now, we are not a family who rampantly runs around swearing our heads off by anymeans, just another safe guard, in ensuring we keep what we say in check at all times. Or it could get costly!
What bothers me the most, is when parents cuss at their children. When they blow up on them in the store and start cussing out their toodler. That is just sad, and makes me want to do an Atomic Leg Drop, followed by a DDT on them and laugh while I am doing it. Then, adopt their kids so the child has a fighting chance.
Joseph, I like the leg drop and the DDT.
Funny. we talked about this with my family last weekend…
they were all suprised that I cuss…alone…while trying to be a handy man…
oh yeah…not something i’m proud of…and my conscience starts stabbing my heart when I do!…
It doesn’t happen very often…which is why i’m not a handy man…
Arny, I hear ya. I stay away from handy work as well.
Whenever someone would use a specific cuss word, my mom would cheerfully & sweetly say, “Out of the abundance of the heart – the mouth speaks!!”
: D She was too funny!!!
Don’t do it. Don’t care for it. Don’t want it around my kids.
Don’t judge it. Well….
Except it does seem as tho’ people who cuss Incessantly, appear to have a Very limited vocabulary!
So I guess that’s a judgment afterall! : )
Amber, I have a hard time judging others in this area as well. The other day I heard a guy cuss around his two little kids and it drove me crazy! I think it’s just a reminder of how much we need the grace of God.
I too am trying to stop using inappropriate words.
It is a work in progress.
Oh and that combination thing is a very slippery slope!
Stevie G, what do you mean about the slippery slope? That it leads to cussing?
Top 2: Traffic & the computer freezing in the middle of watching a Mizzou game on ESPN3
Joe, my computer froze the other day and I wanted to cuss it out as I threw it out the window. It was so frustrating.
Great post, Rob. I agree that Sirvhim’s post summed it up well. I think this is one of many topics (a plethora, even) that Christians largely ignore. They just go with what they’ve always been taught. I’m not saying this applies to you, but it does happen. I admit, sometimes I do swear. When I’m driving and I’m in the car alone, I let some awful ones fly. I’m not proud of it either, but it happens. Hampton Roads drivers are just terrible. I think it really comes down to an accountability and impressionability issue. Am I negatively affecting a weaker brother when I (fill in the blank)? It’s a long conversation to have. More Christians should be willing to excavate into “why” they believe what they believe.
Kevin, I liken it to “everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial.” I have the freedom to cuss. I just choose not to.
It’s always such an interesting stubject. So much so, that I misspelled subject but don’t feel like going back and correcting it.
Sirvhim painted how I feel pretty well. It’s really the intent that I see as the bigger issue. If at all possible, I will do my best to refrain from using profanity out of anger.
As well, a deciding factor of whether or not I will cuss has to do with the people around me. If others have a problem with it, then yeah, I’m not going to do so out of respect to them.
And public image is a pretty important thing to uphold, especially if you want to be good standard bearer for the things you represent. I represent my workplace. I represent Christ. And for those reasons, I want to represent them well in the public eye. So you won’t really see me cuss on the internet, just because people will see that and make conclusions. (Yeah, sometimes it happens regardless, WHATEVER).
But when I’m with my friends? The ones who know me, and know my heart, and wouldn’t jump to conclusions? Well I want to just be real with them. Don’t want to put on a show.
So am I putting on a show in the public eye? Maybe to an extent. But I guess the motivation is different.
And now I’m questioning my motivation for everything. THANKS A LOT GUYS.
I always enjoy your posts, Rob. While funny, they also tend to be so thought provoking. Well done, sir.
Whoops. That ended up being super long.
Joseph, I appreciate your comment. I have some friends like you described. They cuss around me often even though they know that I don’t. They know that I won’t judge them. At the same time I joke about things around them that I wouldn’t joke about around others. I say that to say I understand where you are coming from.
Love your listing posts. Always hilarious and thought-provoking. Something I’d add to my own $#%! list: the shower/sink water getting BLAZING hot for some unearthly reason. Lately our sink has been freaking nutso.
Uh oh, I said freaking.
As for the swearing itself, I share similar sentiments with TJC. I was raised in a home without language and so it’s certainly not engrained in me to swear like a sailor. But I’ve grown more comfortable using “edgier” language with closer friends who won’t take it seriously, and vice versa; I would certainly be uncomfortable using those same words with just ole anybody or in a public arena like my website. Same goes for drinking or doing anything “iffy” around people who are clearly anti-whatever.
A time and a season.
Thanks for the comment. Yeah that H20 thing stinketh.
I actually look at this in the other light now, Joseph. I have less of a problem hearing someone cuss in anger than I do with them using it as a regular part of their speech.
I understand the gravity of dropping an f-bomb when extremely pissed as opposed to someone who sprinkles it in nonchalantly.
I remember Jon Acuff wrote about how cuss words in the hands of a Christian are like 100X more powerful, simply because we don’t (or aren’t “supposed” to) use them.
I totally agree. I will use one every now and then if I feel it is the best word. It’s very seldom but I definitely don’t have the same fear of those words that I used to.
I give the words power and I can take it away too.
My husband and I just watched “The Fantastic Mr. Fox”. Because we watched that, your post makes me laugh. :-). If you haven’t seen it, you should watch it. Funny alternative to cussing!
Missy, I haven’t seen it. What do they do in that movie?
Let me first state that I do use cuss words, predominantly I use them in anger and frustration, though sometimes to illustrate an emphatic point. But mostly I try to substitute those words with the made up cuss words of science fiction. Battlestar Galactica, Farscape, and Babylon 5 (to name a few shows) used several nonsense words to create the emotional emphasis within the dialogue without breaching FCC regulations. Using these “fake” cuss words allows me the emotional release without the use of a word or words that are instantly recognized and taken as hurtful. And while I recognize that my underlying intention may be the same regardless the words I choose to use, if the “fake” words cause less hurt in the recipient(s) then they have at least mitigated the situation somewhat.
My current go to “fake” cuss word is Monkey. The word itself is inoffensive and monkeys make me laugh, which diminishes the anger or frustration that spurred the use of the word.
Randal, you should try “son of a monkey.” That’s funny and might diminish your anger even more. Thanks for the comment.
I laughed out loud at the Toothbrush one – that’s why I never venture outside of the bathroom, with it. I’ve been sleepy and accidentally hit the on button, with it not in my mouth – toothpaste everywhere, but at least all wipe-able surfaces – hurts like heck, when it gets in your eye. Having grown up around the military, not many words were off-limits – I’m trying to control what I say, but do slip up from time-to-time.
Terry, thanks for sharing! I appreciate the comment.
Too funny Rob, cracked me up -:)
Thanks Laurie.
I do it when I get mad, but not around the kids… ironically, after reading this today, I tweeted this: Some lady here in the break room just said “I’ve got to go to my Bible study today” and “What the hell?” within about 15 secs of each other.
I do think cussing extends to substituted cuss words like freakin’… let’s be honest, you’re still dropping the f-bomb.
Russ, That’s a funny thing to hear. I wonder what that lady was talking about when she dropped the H-bomb.
While waiting in an incredibly long consession line at the York High football game on Saturday I was surrounded by young teens in little tight groups. Mostly girls. While I was chatting with the lady I was with, one of the young “ladies” behind me dropped the f-bomb. (I’m talking 13/14 year olds) My head automatically snaps around and (without thinking) I say “Hey! Language!!!” Their eyes get all big and they start whispering. I am sure using some of their colorful words to describe me. I wanted to tell them all how bad it makes them look to use that kind of language. At home that night, I told my son (who is 12) “when you get a real girlfriend, will you please not pick any of those skanky girls?” he said “how will I know they are skanky?” I said, “don’t worry, Mommy will tell you!!” 🙂
I think the use of curse words can change our image in others eyes. (especially with girls)
Gayle, it does change things for sure. I hope that my kids can resist the temptation. It’s hard when everyone else seems to do it.
Is it still cussing if you don’t actually Sayin, but just think it in your head? By that metric who among us hasn’t cussed?
That said, it’s something I’m sensitive to because, while growing up, no language was off limits. (I believe I said my first “cuss” at the ripe old age of five; someone asked my name. I said “Chad MFer Jones”). I firmly believe that there are better ways to express myself, but indeed I have said a few choice things during times of duress. Additionally, as a child of the 80s, I routinely used “suck” when something stinks, is not right, fair, etc.
Yes, I am a hypocrite. But I learned from Tony Campolo to “establish the limits of your [my] hypocrisy.”
🙂
Chad, I use suck often. Like I said in the post there are some words I don’t feel bad about saying and others I do. I am a work in progress.
Rob, after reading that all I can say is “Shut the Front door!!!”
I do not cuss hardly ever. I have a funny story that I will have to tell you sometime about cussing. Cussing does not bother me except in front of kid. There are two words that bother me so bad I tell people not to say that around me. I can not even write it so I will give you a hint. It is Our Father followed by the thing beavers build.
Thanks for the post you are so real.
Kris, funny! GD bothers me as well. I also don’t like it when kids cuss. It happens in movies and it always bothers me…for some reason.
Rob, thank you for posting this. I would agree that Sirvhim summed it up pretty well. I was just having this conversation with a friend a couple weeks ago. Just like you said, we both have Christian friends who regularly cuss. I don’t have a problem with it in some instances, but he doesn’t see a problem with it at all (minus using in anger/to tear down, ect). But if the world has this view of “cussing is bad/a sin”, shouldn’t that be something we strive to refrain from? Although one person may not see a problem with it, do you think people may see a hypocritical person if we do this but say that? And also only cussing around certain people or in certain situation/places (not cussing in church), shouldn’t we be consistent?
I have to admit, I do cuss sometimes and have for a while and not really proud of it. I’m trying to cut down on it, but more so to be aware of the thought behind it and where my heart is at when I use certain words.
One more thing if I could get your opinion on. I was talking with a pastor recently about some things. He basically told me to be real with God. He said, if you’re sitting there thinking, “S***, what do you want me to do God”, or “What the hell is going on”, just pray to God like that and be honest. It kind of shocked me to hear that but at the same time I would almost agree. I mean He knows my heart, and I’m not necessarily using it in a bad way. Do you think thats wrong?
Alex, thanks for the comment. I would say that it’s not best to cuss at God. I think we should be real with God, but at the same time I think that we should have a reverence for God. It’s kind of like this…I’ve been angry with my wife but out of respect for her I wouldn’t cuss at her. In the Bible, David was very real with God but to my knowledge he honored God with his words. That’s just my opinion about it. Thanks again for the comment.
I have a big problem with cussing in traffic…I have a megaphone built into my CB radio, with the speaker horn right behind the front grill.
Of course, sometimes I speak things into it like…”Remember God may have caused this traffic!”
Seriously….I try my best not to cuss.
Ed, that would be really funny to hear from a loud speaker. Thanks for the comment.
I very seldom cuss. I don’t like it when I do. I kinda feel like TT (Trailer Trash) after I do. My parents never cussed around me and I don’t cuss around my kids. They would tell you different though because they think crap, sucks and fart are cuss words and I’ll occasionally let one of those slip (the words:)) I like that they think the aforementioned words are bad. Even though they are not “cuss words” they sound worse coming from a kid.
As for the urinals, we have a house of 3 males and 1 female. My wife wants a urinal in our home. She says we have bad aim. I don’t think we will ever actually have a urinal in our home, but if we do I won’t be able to build the extra urinal buffer.
Doug, a urinal in the house would be awesome! I’d come to visit you just so I could experience it.
For all the things that make you want to cuss, you have incredible self control to go 23 years without cussing.
I’m not much of a cusser (is that a word?). I rarely do it. Mostly because I feel like there are much more powerful words than those to use. I’m a bit of a word nerd.
Ultimately I believe that it is the person that gives the word power. Cuss words don’t have any power in and of themselves. If you say jackhole and really just mean ***hole, is there really a difference?
That said, I’ve relaxed my strict use of cussing. I used to get really offended when I heard another Christian cuss. I don’t get offended anymore. Mostly I just get annoyed because when they are used flippantly, I just think it’s lazy. That goes for Christians and non-Christians.
Tony, very well said. It’s probably just as lazy for me to choose words that are similar to swears.
Rob, perhaps what follows will prompt a companion post:
Is what is said in the confines of the marriage bed “cussing?”
That last one by ranodmlychad… awesome and unbelievably inappropriate.
I rarely swear (I actually hate the word cuss… it sounds like a swear to me). That said, I don’t think it’s a big deal and I will for shock value, emphasis or extreme anger… but it’s not often. I’m less likely to swear around people who don’t and more likely to swear around people who do.
I get after my wife for swearing, she apparently has no problem with it these days. I do think when used in excess it makes the user sound like a tool and I really don’t like people swearing around their kids or kids swearing. It’s really a respect thing for me with kids and for those with kids, it’s about what you’re teaching them is acceptable.
As far as the Bible, I loved Josh’s response…
I agree with your general thought and think that language is just that… it’s the expression of the heart and whether it’s suck or something more explicit… the intent was there. If you say suck in front of the right (old) person it’s as shocking as saying something much “worse”.
I enjoyed this post and everyone’s comments. I do not like cussing and try not to. Every now and then, I slip (I’m also easily angered by traffic). I realize in those moments that I need to slow down and realize my negative reaction is in no way helping me. Our speech should be pure and should set an example for everyone (even, and especially so, our good friends). The way I see it, we should be the same person in front of everyone. I tend to think many people who cuss are doing so to fit in or because they want to be pereived in a certain way. I just want to be me. Ironically enough, one of the things that irks me to the point of wanting to curse is when people use “God awful”…I think that’s worse than many words that are deemed inappropriate. I don’t think curse words deserve a rating system. They’re all wrong, but there’s just something about “God awful” that’s, well, awful. Thanks for the post, Rob.
I apologize for making you want to cuss, but there only two urinals at WEC. I had nowhere else to go. Though, it probably would have been weird if I had stepped back and waited.
Scott, don’t apologize. The WEC bathrooms at least have the divider in between them. That’s fair game.
It’s interesting being a parent in this day and age. I rarely cuss- pretty much just like Monica, when I’m repeating a story or I have to be REALLY mad. Neither Reed or I cuss around Anna. It bothers me like CRAZY. I’ve been known to ask people to stop cussing around her. But, being a parent has added another facet to this conversation. Anna went to public school and picked up on some bad words pretty early on. She said “What the h-e-double hockey sticks?!” one night in Target and I almost had a heart attack. So, we had to have the following talk: Don’t use words mom and daddy don’t use. And, if you hear a word and don’t know if it’s a big person word, ask one of us if it’s a word you can use. Well, she took me up on it! One day, she asked me if the “b” word was a big person word only she didn’t say the “b” word. I was driving and thought I was going to swerve off the road I was so shocked to hear it come out of her mouth! BUT, she did what I asked her to do. And, yes, we call them big people words for a couple of reasons- by calling it a bad word, it becomes an act of rebellion for her. If she feels like being defiant, kids feel like they can use a bad word because it’s bad. Calling a cuss word or a swear word is, I think vague, especially to a kid. So, we went with big people words. I’m hoping she’ll hold out till she is a big person (grown up) before using them and then will understand at that point the full weight of using one of those words and therefore either not feel the need to use it or in the very least she’ll mean what she says.
I’m really impressed (and slightly skeptical) that you’ve only cussed once in your entire life. However, you are solid guy so I’ll take your word for it. More power to you.
I have a love-hate relationship with cussing. Biblically, I think it’s wrong to cuss, a sign of immaturity and socially uncouth.
However, I like to cuss. I like expressing my anger in that fashion, but I know it’s wrong. Being a cubicle-dwelling father of 2 I am super careful about my words when I’m around other people, but when I’m alone (like in traffic) the filter disappears.
Thank you for calling this out. I need to work on taming my tongue.