This is a picture of how I see myself in my mind…
Who is that guy? Well, it’s actually Jake Gyllenhaal. I don’t know Jake, but this image is pretty much how I see myself. He is smiling and looks like a lot of fun. He has a great head of hair. He is muscled enough to wear a v-neck t-shirt. He looks like a fun, cool, and pretty laid back guy. That’s how I see myself.
I was recently told that I am somewhat different then the picture above. Now what I was told was not out of a mean spirit. They weren’t trying to hurt my feelings or make me feel bad. They had noticed something that had been going on for quite some time. As I listened to their description of me it looked more like this…
Now this is Shrek. Not Shrek from Shrek 2,3, or 4. That was a gentler less grumpy Shrek. No this is Shrek from the first movie. He’s a big ogre. He has the potential to be lovable, but at the end of the day he is an ogre. Now that I’m looking at the pictures I do kind of resemble Shrek as well. I have a few more hairs on my head but I’m quickly going the way of the Shrek dome. But this post isn’t about physical appearance. I digress.
It’s hard to hear how others view you. It’s hard but it’s healthy. The truth is that I analyze myself a lot, but even with self analyzing we have blind spots that we just can’t see. I wish it was as easy to see our faults as it is to see the faults of others.
It’s like my eyes are made of magnifying glasses when I look at others and kaleidoscopes when I look at myself. I can see the faults in others so clearly but when I look at myself I only see a fraction of what’s really going on.
Maybe that’s why Jesus said, “For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. ‘Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?’ How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?” Matthew 7:2-4.
I wish planks were easier to see. I’ve got not one, but two, eyes for seeing other people’s sawdust.
I’m thankful that in a non-judging way I was confronted with my ogre like behavior. Because we all have blind spots we need help with our planks. Not in a judgmental way. Instead our planks should be yanked with grace. We need relationships with people who love us as we are but refuse to leave us as ogres. With God’s help I’m trying to be less of an ogre.
Do you think that the image you have of yourself fits who you really are? Is it easier for you to see other people’s sawdust while being blinded to your plank?
This is a tough one to answer Rob. Since i cycle and workout I would like to see myself as more defined. I like it when my legs burn and they feel "big." but when I get off the bike I still have the same 6'5" somewhat bowed legs with skinny thighs and no diamond-shaped calf muscles as before. I don't have the genetic makeup to have a defined 6 pack and lack of tissue that a professional cyclist or weight lifter would have (or someone who weighs less than my 210). The hair…well…that is no longer an issue. But the reality is that I am not what I would like to picture. Physically or spiritually. I would like to be a giant in my faith but truth be known I have some struggles with it. as for the plank in my eye? Can't see it that I have one.
Maybe I don't know you well enough, but I'd compare you to Jake as the type of person everyone likes cause he seems like an all around good guy, though I don't really know. Although Shrek is a funny and lovable character, he just tries not to be. 🙂
This was a very raw and honest posting. As for me, I am likely my own worse critic. I see my inner "Shrek 1" ogre, but others see something more positive. I feel the truth is likely somewhere in between. Thanks for sharing this morning.
i think that there is some merit to how others see you, but its a dangerous tightrope all in who you are listening to…i think our identity is found in better places…shrek would not be bad, i could think of worse…smiles.
I would have a really hard time putting myself into an image… I'll have to think more on that.
But I do have major issues with judging others. I have to bite my tongue a lot because things I want to say are just not nice and not necessary.
You've always been Jake to me.
I just can't quit you…
I like Shrek. Just sayin. 😉
I always see the other side. This is generally a good thing. But I'm pretty sure it annoys my spouse when he's telling me about his bad day and I'm seeing the other person's perspective. Looks like I better notch up that empathy, eh?
I would like to say the two match up (the image I have for myself vs who I really am). I want to be characterized as someone who is honest, transparent and vulnerable. But, I'll be honest -doesn't always happen that way. I am selfish, chose to view things narrow mindedly, etc. Thanks for the challenging thoughts, Rob.
Bill, thanks for sharing. I am with ya.
Faith, I try to be but I think I've been ogre like in a few of my relationships. I have been grumpy and not myself in a few of my relationships. It was a good eye opener for me.
Daniel, I agree with you. You have more potential then you ever give yourself credit for.
Brian, no doubt. I think if you find your worth in what people say it's dangerous. This wasn't one of those situations. This came as a concern from someone who had noticed a behaivor that wasn't typical in my life.
Susan, I liked what you said on Facebook. It went along with this thought.
Ricky, that is sweet. Thanks.
I like Shrek too. You do a great job of analyzing yourself!
Dustin, thanks for reading and for the comment. I do better at this some days then others. As of late I've been off my game.
Of course, I'm wiggity wiggity wiggity wack and I know it fo-shizzle! Ha, but seriously, the posts here show that difficult balance, focusing too much on how awesome we are and missing our faults or focusing too much on how much we suck and missing our God-given awesomeness. I'm sure in many ways I'm blind to who I really am, thank God for brothers and sisters to help steer me right, oh, and kids, once your kids can talk, watch out, plank patrol is on the loose.
So…what if it's the other way around? What if what you see in the mirror is the ogre, and what others see is the "Jake?"
Ryan, I would say both are unhealthy. To see yourself in a negative way causes us to destroy who God created us to be. Finding out who we are in Christ helps correct our images of ourselves when they don't match up how God sees us. This isn't something that can be easily answered in a comment. I would love to talk to you about this. Let's set something up and talk.
In some ways I can't wait for my kids to talk. I hate when they cry and I don't know why. On the other hand I don't know if I am ready for two truth telling, plank pointing out kids. Parenting is a crazy ride.
That last comment was meant tongue-in-cheek. 🙂