Do you like porn? Chances are you or someone you know does. Now they might not be proud of their love for porn, but the stats don’t lie…
- 40 million Americans regularly visit porn websites.
- In the U.S. Internet porn makes 2.84 billion $’s. It makes 10 billion total.
- 25% of all Internet searches are for porn. That’s 68 million in a day. On a side note if you blog add naked, sex, or porn into a title of your blog and watch your stats rise.
- There are 116,000 searches for child pornography every day.
- 20% of men admit to watching porn at work. I bet they don’t work in a cubicle.
- The average age in which a guy first sees porn online is 11 years old. That’s 5th grade.
- The most popular day to watch porn is on Sunday.
- The least popular day of the year to watch porn is Thanksgiving.
Chances are those that view porn fall into a few categories. There are those who watch it and feel guilty about it. This guilt leads to isolation and depression because they can’t beat this addiction. Then there are those who watch and don’t think twice about it. Except for on Thanksgiving. I think it’s interesting that the least popular day to view Internet porn is on Turkey Day.
To like porn is unfair for your significant other. They can’t live up to the images that you view. And I bet that you would hate it if they spent hours a day fantasizing about someone else. Fantasizing about someone who meets their needs, does whatever they want, and has bigger private parts then you.
Porn is easier to get to today then ever before. So what can we do? There are no easy answers and there are no quick fixes. In fact most people aren’t willing to get crazy enough to beat this addiction. The following are some things that I know have worked…
- Be honest with someone. Having a person who you check in with is crucial to overcoming any addiction. I know a guy who overcame a porn addiction and if he looks at porn he has to write his accountability partner a $1,000 check.
- Never be alone. I have a friend and whenever his wife goes out of town he has a friend stay over at the house. He doesn’t trust himself alone, and he’s not willing to allow this addiction to win.
- Internet protection. XXX Church offers a free online accountability. You can set it up so a friend gets sent a copy of all the websites you look at online. I also have a friend that won’t own a computer. He told me that you can’t watch online porn if you don’t have a computer. He was right.
- Seek help. This is such an easy thing to get addicted to. I have a friend who first became addicted at the age of 4. Nudie magazines were in his house and it took just a couple of looks to get him hooked. No addiction is easy to overcome. With help though all addictions are beatable. After ten years of giving into a pron addiction a friend of mine went to see a Christian counselor. It was this move that saved his marriage, ministry, and state of mind.
- Protect your man. If you are a female then protect the men in your life. Get the mail and throw away the Victoria Secret Catalog before he gets home. Oh and spill something gross in the trash so it ruins the magazine.
- Outsmart it. Read reviews of why movies are rated what they are rated. If it has nudity in it don’t go see it. If a visually stimulating image pops up on the TV cover your eyes so that you won’t see it. Don’t believe the lie that you can handle it. Guys can’t.
- If you are a parent of a boy talk to him about it and set up a means of accountability. Protect your son! I know it’s awkward, but not as awkward as getting caught watching porn with your pants down by your ankles, by your parents.
Like I said there are no easy answers. The thing that stinks about this addiction is that there is such easy access. Porn comes looking for you. This post is not meant to make anyone feel bad. I know it’s hard, but protecting your mind is worth it. With a lot of work everyday can be Thanksgiving when it comes to viewing porn.
I've know a friend who struggled with this addiction. It was an addiction as strong as cigarettes or alcohol or any other drug you care to name. Whenever he talked about it with others, he was made to feel like he was the only one with this problem. This drove him deeper into the problem. There was a time that looking at pornography actually took the place of real relationships. Those folks online never made fun of him or made him feel like a freak. They relieved his stress and were always ready for him. Deeper and deeper and deeper he fell under their lies. I struggled like heck to make progress, …, errr, I mean he struggled like heck to make progress. He made slow and steady progress to recognize the triggers and to slowly learn how to take those triggers captive. Keep at it. You likely can't "fix" this addiction overnight. Take gains where you can. Don't beat yourself up for occasional relapses.
Daniel, thanks for sharing. You are the man!
Fantastic blog. It's an easy & awful addiction. Wives can also pray for their husband against this addiction and help to protect them.
Most excellent post!! I believe this is a disproportionately HUGE problem in relation to how often it is addressed in the modern church! Christian men are not exempt yet, I am sure that many of them feel that there is nowhere to turn. As a woman, it is not an addiction that I can personally relate to but, I pray often for my own husband and son. There are opportunities everywhere even when one isn't seeking out an opportunity. Thanks for tackling a difficult topic!
Thanks Missy! I appreciate the comment.
I love porn. It doesn’t mean I don’t love my wife any less. But fantasies are healthy. It’s religion that screws up your mind. Sex is healthy. Religion infantalizes your mind. Grow up.
Fred, thanks for stopping by. This post was meant for those who want freedom. No need to name call.
I love porn and I hope to find someone who is like me and loves to watch it just as much as me. I love sex. And I’m sure everyone reading this does too. Even the person who wrote the blog. I’m of age and I am no way ashamed to say: I LOVE PORN AND NOT ASHAMED
Just because a man or woman watches porn does not mean he or she loves her or his partner. Grow up and stop being a prude.
My wife and I enjoy watching porn together, I love my wife more than anything in the world and she will always be more attractive to me than anyone else is. But sometimes watching porn is perfectly healthy as long as you don’t let it take over your life. My wife and I have a very healthy relationship and we love to watch porn together when we’re alone in the bedroom and getting intimate. I agree that there are people out there who do need help with the addiction, because it takes over their life and they can’t go 30 minutes without seeing a naked body. But you’re acting like if you ever look at porn, you’re immediately addicted and need to seek help. That’s not true at all. Looking at porn can be a Perfectly healthy thing. And telling women to throw stuff in the trash and pour something nasty on it so the men can’t see those woman, are you serious?? Wow, yeah that’s exactly what I want to see when I get home and throw something away. All these papers soaked and goopy because my wife didn’t want me seeing anything like that. If that doesn’t say “welcome home honey, I don’t trust you whatsoever and I’ve decided to be an over controlling psycho”, I don’t know what does. And honestly that kind of behavior would make me want to do it even more just because she’s going crazy like that. My father WAS an addict when he was married to my mother. You know why he was an addict? Because my mother started doing all the crazy things that you are suggesting here and it drove him crazy because she never trusted him. Back when she actually trusted him, he had no issues with it whatsoever! Then she decided to flip out and start taking stupid advice like you’re giving and that’s when he actually started looking at it and got addicted. How about you just trust each other and love each other? Since that is the most important part of a good, strong relationship.
What the hell, man?
Why does it gotta be an addiction?
There’s nothing wrong with an adult flipping on a movie, getting the job done and going about their daily life.
Are there some who DO have an addiction? I’m sure there is. Doesn’t mean that anyone who watches pornographic material is a deviant, a bad person, or some social reject/outcast.
Masturbation is extremely healthy and should be encouraged in moderation.
And after scrolling up to the top of the page, I just now realized you’re a pastor and this post now has zero credibility or social value.
Have fun judging others, telling them how they should live their lives and dictating what types of behavior are acceptable.
I know Rob personally, beyond just him being the pastor of the church that I attend. I can assure you that he’s not judging you. No human has that ability, and those that do are out of line… he’s simply sharing his world view (what he interprets God’s view to be) with like minded individuals who are looking to better themselves along the same worl view.
I would not expect you to view the issue the same as one coming from a Christian ethical background. You have different world views and although I disagree with them and feel you perhaps would be happier and have healthier relationships without them, you’re entitled to have them and I certainly don’t judge you for them.
I would expect you, being more “open” to not judge someone for not agreeing with your view the same as I refrain from acting as judge of your conduct. We can disagree and have differing world views without the need to allow the conversation to slip to pettiness.
In my mind, even apart from my blatant Christian bias, porn has the ability to impact your relationships with people in so many ways that I think we’d be better off refraining from it. The supression of some sexual desires is the same as the supression of any other desires that are anti-social. Porn, even apart from a secular definition of addiction which occurs when it impacts ones ability to normally function, is destructive in my mind.
Here’s why:
Porn has little to do with real life sex, which I think we can all agree is great and an incredibly healthy aspect of committed relationships and the continuation of society.
Porn creates unrealistic expectations and enhances the need for visual and or audio stimulation apart from your real life partner. If you’re masturbating to porn, it’s literally replacing your real life partner. It’s always easier to watch a video than work on your real life relationship and as humans we tend to go for what’s easy. The replacement of fantasy for reality will eventually negatively affect reality in most peoples lives. whether it’s how we view our significant other or people in general. Porn is a very self centered thing in most instances.
Most women do not view porn the same as a man does… men are more visual than women. A woman might watch it if their man introduces it, but most women have natural insecurities and a man… especially when he seems more interested in the videos than her will only exacerbate those insecurities and undermine the overall relationship.
I would have a harder time arguing this next point against educational sexual videos from a non-christian perspective (although most of the above still applies, I can see benefit if there’s real life educational benefit), but porn in it’s traditional context is full of sexual experiences that are anything but the norm and encourage abnormal sexual behavior and an increasing deviancy. Porn is more about visually stimulating the camera and users and so positions and experiences that would not be typical in real life are seen as normal because of their use in porn… this diminishes the overall sexual experience because much of what’s shown isn’t great in real life. The unusual or better for the camera become introduced and common place and what makes “good porn” doesn’t often coincide with what makes good sex.
Then there’s the social aspects such as sexual slavery, prositution and violence that factors into the porn industry.
I think it’s easy to just want to dismiss the negative aspects of porn because you like it, but many things we like are not good for us or society… even apart from “christian” values.
Just my two cents. I respect your opinions and don’t judge you for them, but I certainly don’t agree with them.
This wasn’t just a response to Greg, it applied to all the defenders of porn… I accidently posted it as a reply, wasn’t trying to single Greg out for the response.