Yesterday was my first appointment with my counselor. Two weeks ago I was dealing with some depression. I posted about it here. The first session was mainly him listening to what was going on. Nothing profound happened, but talking about things energized me.
I understand why going to see a counselor has got a bad rap. Nobody wants to give the impression that they are crazy. In fact I was a little sad to not see any padded rooms, drooling patients walking in hospital gowns, or straight jackets. I was hoping to see something out of the movie 12 Monkeys or One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. I guess all that stuff is hidden in a back room. I kid I kid.
I’m not a handy type of guy. I don’t fix things. I don’t know how to fix household type of things and I don’t enjoy fixing household type things. When my car breaks down I proudly go to a mechanic to have him fix it. When I ask for help with my house or car I’m not embarrassed. In fact I think it would be silly for me to try to fix it on my own. Why not entrust my house and car to a professional who can fix the problem. This is the same way I feel about Christian counseling.
Maybe it’s because of the stigma of crazy. Maybe it’s because of pride. Pride to admit that you don’t have all the answers or that you need some help. I’m not sure what it is, but I’m not afraid to admit that I need a little help from a Christian counselor. As a mechanic analyzes the cause of the problem I’m looking for a different set of eyes to analyze what was going on with me.
In the first session he told me about change points. They assess a certain amount of points for changes in a person’s life. He said that if a person has a major change like a death in the family they will assess a large amount of points. He then said that at 100 points there can be cause for concern. He said with all the changes going on in my life he’d assess that I was at 300 points. I’m excited to continue this journey and figure out what I can do.
Ah. Change points! I remember that! I had went through a death, got married, moved and started a new job all in 2 weeks! And I wondered why I was anxious/depressed those first few months in WI. Lol. Looking back, of course I would be!!! Went through same thing again last year when we moved back to VA, death of my grandmother and pregnant/had Pearce! Yeah, crazy. I don't mind admitting it 🙂 lol.
Kudos to you for going. And keeping an open mind and a willing positive thought base, for the future. In no way do I think my instances are comparable to yours – I can't imagine. But that said, hang in there. The road does get better, easier to face and deal with 🙂 make sure you stay positive – that's the key I think to overcoming it.
I'm very glad that you went, Rob, going to a counselor/therapist has been wrapped in a shroud of secrecy for way too long, it takes a strong person to admit that they need to see one to get a few issues out on the table, I'm proud of you, and I'm sure God's even prouder, b/c of your story some other person is going to break down and see a counselor too, and realize that its nothing to be ashamed of, good job.
I went through a period of counseling a few years ago to help with depression. I know it helped to strengthen me and get me to look outside of myself. I have never kept this a secret or felt ashamed. There is no reason to. I agree with you. Great insight.
Sometimes just saying it out loud takes a lot of courage. Thanks for having the courage to tell us what you are going through.
Praying for you (and Monica), Rob. Thank you for sharing with us. Isn't it funny how Satan tries to use pride to keep us from getting help? And yet, by laying that pride down, Jesus allows you to not only get help, but to minister to so many others with your honest words of openness and encouragement? God is so good!
All I have to ask is: did you get to put your initials on the high score screen for change points?
Mike, your comment made me laugh. I wish he did.
Thanks Becky
Thanks for reading the blog and for leaving a comment. That makes my day!
Thanks Bridget!
I appreciate it Tstippel. Thanks.
Preaciate it.
No reason to be ashamed of asking for help. Counseling can and will work as long as you allow it to. You were smart to recognize the need now and not when the babies get here. Good move. Let us know when its our turn to bring the best teacher in the world some dinner..even if its from your favorite place to eat…
Bernadette
I totally agree… thanks for being so open and shedding some light on the issue. People think that they won't be "normal" if they get counseling and it keeps them from "operating" like they need to (like the mechanic analogy).
ok, i do have some serious comments about this blog but i will address them with you later. i would like to say that in your last paragraph of this blog, you say "asses" 3x. you might want to add an extra "s" to the end of that word and make it "assess", because right now i think it spells something you really are not trying to say. just a friendly suggestion 😉
Lauren, good catch. I need all the help I can get with spelling. That however is a mistake that made me laugh.
Rob, I'm proud of you for taking the courage to post this and for asking for help form a counselor. Not sure if you recall or not but I too had my round of it and sought. I'm sure, as you continue your journey with you counselor, you will find the answers you need and will be able to combat you problems. I too will be praying for you and Monica. The first time I heard about your situation was last night at Community Group. I hope and pray everything turns out well with the pregnancy.