My brain is constipated with random thoughts. It’s time to free up some space with another Mind Dump…
- We spent $40 to rent this…
- Because of this text…
- “Connor puked cottage cheese vomit all over both of us and the carpet. After work you need to go to Food Lion, rent the carpet cleaner, buy a bottle of the cleaner, and bring it home tonight. It is awful.”
- My wife job shares with my sister in law. On days that she doesn’t teach we watch our nephew. Poor little guy got sick…all over Monica.
- So I’m at the Food Lion (a grocery store in the 757) and I can’t find anyone to help me rent said carpet cleaner. I see one employee sweeping the floors. Now you never know what you are going to get when you approach a part time, minimum wage earner from Food Lion. Sometimes it’s nice. Sometimes it’s less than professional. Sometimes it’s a guy who speaks Russian and is no help at all. I didn’t see that one coming. I asked for help and I’m pretty sure he said I’ll kill you if you don’t get out of my way. Did I mention he was Russian.
- When I parked my car at said Food Lion there was a car next to me that had it’s door wide open. What would you do if you were me? I looked around to make sure no one was going to jump out and say, “the Christian entertainment company is about 5 years behind secular media and we have just now started a show called Leah’d. It’s just like Punk’d but has a Biblical name that refers to the ugly sister who punk’d her way into marrying Jacob in the Bible.” Once I knew the coast was clear I slammed the door shut. Only…
- It didn’t shut. It came flying back at me. I’m not sure what was wrong with that door, so I tried it again. Same results. I’m no fool so I tried it one more time and then hurried inside.
- Are you supposed to tip when you pick up take-out from a restaurant? I always feel judged when I don’t.
- I love Twitter. Before Twitter there were certain things that were unreachable. Things like the LA Lakers and Dunder Mifflin.
- This past week I tweeted the following…
- @Lakers our 8 month old twins Christmas picture
Within seconds I received the following tweet, “@robshep very nice. Getting them started early on the purple & gold is always the best policy!”- The next day I tweeted “I love that the paper for our office came in a Dunder Mifflin box.”
Later that night I received the following tweet, “@robshep so do we. Thank your office manager for ordering from us.” It was from Dunder Mifflin.- If you had to eat a bowl of cereal with any liquid other than milk, what would it be?
- I think I’d use water.
- I wonder how much baby formula tastes like milk? If H20 and cereal was gross I might consider trying formula plus cereal.
- I recently was watching SportsCenter while on my lunch break. I feel pretty strongly that commercials for products that only girls can use should not be shown during SportsCenter. I’m talking about products that I won’t buy for my wife, and that make me shiver just hearing about them. I think those things should only be shown on Lifetime, Oprah’s network, and Vampire Diaries.
- Speaking of SportsCenter I was watching it last Thursday when they reported that Chris Paul, the best point guard in the NBA, was traded to the Lakers. Being a HUGE Lakers fan this was both exciting and sad. They said it was for Pau Gasol who is one of my favorite Lakers.
- Just a few short hours later they reported that the NBA had killed the deal. Do what? I feel bad for the players that were traded. The next day they had to show up to practice with teams that just told them goodbye. I know they make way too much money but they have families too.
- My wife thinks that the Kardashians are responsible for making the trade fall through. One of the sisters is married to Lamar who is/was a Laker and was traded to New Orleans. I laughed when she said that. She was joking.
- People tell me on a weekly basis that my son is so0000 cute. They then tell me that he looks just like me. I always want to giggle because essentially they are saying that I’m sooooo cute.
- What is your favorite Christmas movie? Besides Die Hard, I’d have to say that mine is Home Alone. Elf is a close behind.
- We had our staff Christmas party this past weekend. It was good times. Carrabbas blessed us with catering it for free. Whenever our staff gets together it’s a lot of laughs. Here we are…
I am about to start working on self publishing my first book. It’s going to be called robshep.com The Book Before The Movie. It’s going to be a short read for every day of the year with some humor from some of my favorite blog posts thrown in. I hope to have it finished early in the first of the year.- People often tell me that the Mind Dumps are their favorite posts of mine. Someone told me that the other day and for some reason my brain started think about how they originated.
- They were originally called Brain Dumps. The switch was accidental. I couldn’t remember what they were called and just started calling them Mind Dumps. I came up with the idea after I went to a conference. I said to my friend that my brain felt constipated with information. You know sometimes when you make yourself laugh. That was one of those times. That week I started my first Brain Dump.
Whew…I feel better now.
Rob,
It would depend on the cereal.
Die Hard rocks.
When my son was young, he threw up from looking at ceiling fans and riding in the car. We called Dramamine go-vitamins.
Larry, dramamine as go vitamins was a funny line. Good stuff.
Oh, this was a great way to start my day. Very funny stuff. Good talking to you yesterday, although I kept giggling throughout the service when Stu kept talking about how the Shepherds were such low lifes, and such rotten, despicable people.
I’m with you on the chuckles about the Shepherds. Found that quite funny as well.
Daniel, thanks. Just wait till Sunday. I have a little rebuttal that I’m planning on sharing.
Man, if you’re doing a rebuttal, I can’t wait.
Fyi- we have a carpet cleaner you are welcome to borrow anytime.
Hayden is absolutely adorable. Reese is as well.
I was excited to see them yesterday.
An amazing staff deserves amazing blessings. You all are a blessing to many.
Bernadette, thanks! I wish I would have known about the carpet cleaner. I would say next time but I hope there isn’t one of those.
As always each one earns Classic Status Rating to the Highest Degree!
Thanks Joseph!
When my godson was born, I was holding him at the hospital. I was cooing at him and kissing him on the cheek.
“You’re adorable. You’re just so cute. You look just like your dad!”
Then things got quiet as his dad, my best friend Chris, gave me a very strange look.
Ricky, I hear ya. I wouldn’t have given you a strange look though. I’m a words of affirmation kind of guy so I’ll take compliments any way I can get em.
1) I feel like “Leah’d” should be a future post of it’s own… maybe? It’s great material. 🙂
2) Just got on twitter and exploring the whole “reachable” factor myself. (@StephenHaggerty)
3) I look forward to purchasing my own copy of “robshep.com The Book Before The Movie” – have fun with that!
Stephen, thanks! I’ll see what I can do. I almost took Leah’d out to make it it’s own post but I decided to keep it in. We will see if I can come up with something else to include it.
So with ya on the Lakers debacle. Craziness. The current scenario looks like this:
Lamar Odom is gone. He’s been dealt, along with a 2012 2nd round pick, to Dallas for a 2012 1st rounder and the trade exception they got for Tyson Chandler.
This now gives the Lakers the flexibility to offer a trade for Dwight Howard that does not involve Pau Gasol.
Unfortunately, this leaves them with a jaded Spanish superstar who knows he was once viewed as expendable.
More than likely, they still trade Gasol for a point guard. Who? No clue. Does John Stockton still ball it up? We should give him a call.
Kevin, I think Gasol will be okay. It’s a business. People get talked about being traded all of the time. Look at Bynum. I would love to see Gasol and Dwight together. I think that is a formula for a championship.
Wow….that was a long dumb!
hope you had some reading material!!!!!
and mmmmmm…carabbas….
i’m soo hungry! go figure.
Arny, it was long. No reading material for me. That was funny though.
NEVER taste baby formula – EVER! Take my word for it. Don’t do it!!! It would NEVER be good on cereal. Just eat it dry if there is no REAL milk. Seriously.
Gayle, done. I will not because you say not to.
Liquid to go with cereal: chocolate syrup
Favorite Christmas movie: The Toy that Saved Christmas (Veggie Tales)
Some Guy, chocolate syrup is a ridiculously awesome answer.
You should avoid baby formula making its way into your mouth at all cost! It tastes almost exactly like everything milk shouldn’t.
Favorite Christmas movies: Die Hard, Elf, White Christmas (oldie but goodie)
Excited about the book. When you get to that point, let me know where to buy my copy for you to autograph! Did I mention I work for a local printing company…just sayin’… 🙂
Randal, I did not know that. Let’s talk about what that means.
Can’t wait for the book!
Thanks Jon! Great guest post on the handwritten!
No love for It’s A Wonderful Life? My favorite Christmas movie ever! (Elf is a close 2nd).
I will be trying the rest of the day to avoid imaging the look (and smell) of cottage cheese vomit. Thanks for that, Rob!
😉
Chad, I like it but it’s not one of my favorites. Sorry.
We ended up purchasing a $200 steam cleaner for that very reason. Gotten our money’s worth 10x over! 🙂
Dustin, I might have to follow in your footsteps. Sounds like a good purchase.
You’re doing a book? SWEEEEET! And I used to be a ninja with those carpet shampooers. Shampooer is a funny word.
Clay, shampooer is a funny word. Did you do this for a job or for fun?
My favorite Christmas movie would have to be Home alone as well. If I had to pick just one, I’d say the second one, just because it seems to include more of the “spirit of Christmas” sort of feel. Mainly I like how the movies end up with the kid pulling out some Honey Badger cool moves with fanagaling random stuff. I wish I was that capable in that respect.
I can’t wait for the book. When you do make it, you need need neeeeeeeeeeed to use it in a sermon.
P.S. If there is some way that you could involve me in future sermons like doin some cool prepared stunt for a future christmas sermon or somethin, that’d be amazing. Not that this has any significance, just that it came to mind and I’d love to be a part of a sermon in a video or a cool stunt because they seem really fun and really cool, not to mention, in some cases, really hilarious.
P.P.S. I’m not sure what I was going to put right here, but I might remember it at a later point, so you may see another comment from me.
Sean, thanks for the encouragement. I’ll try to keep you in mind for a future video.
this was funny.
You got Leah’d! Also what about adding water to evaporated milk? Or sweetened condensed!! 🙂
Gabriella, I kind of think that evaporated or sweetened milk is still milk. Am I wrong?
Well… it kinda is. But I wouldn’t drink either! (Actually people in Honduras drink sweetened milk out of the can! So syrupy!!)
and… YAY for your book!!!! WOO!
When I was a kid I used Sprite as a milk-substitute for cereal.
Bad call.
TMZ, that sounds bad. What cereal was it?
first of all, thanks for distracting me from studying for my first final of the week! Second of all, Mind Dumps are definitely some of my favorite posts from you. Third of all, i cannot wait for your book. I would be honored if i could get one of the first copies. signed please. finally, i will be home sunday and i am going to wec at 6pm. i will see you there. PS. ive had chipotle 2 times in the past week. this is in honor of you.
Brad, I’ll see what I can do with that copy of the book. It will be good to see you when you come home. Let’s hit up Chipotle!
absolutely. it is a must.
When lots of thoughts surrounds the mind.We feel something like that..hahaha.Well it is a general thing when an eve is about to come..
It appears to have become a fad to kneel down on one knee and pray at inopportune moments. The (probably atheists) mockers will stop, stoop to one knee and hold their head in their hand like their praying getting a good laugh with the crowd.