My brain is constipated with random thoughts. It’s time to free up some space with another Mind Dump…
- Teething sucks. I don’t remember this from personal experience but if my kids could talk they would scream, “THIS SUCKS!”
- Last week I went to Catalyst. It’s the greatest experience in the world. There are a few quotes that are still sticking with me. “The Bible’s answer to fear is this: Fear Not. This is the most oft-mentioned command in Scripture.” – Mark Driscoll. “Do for one what you wish you could do for many.” – Andy Stanley. “When you do for one, you end up doing for more than just one.” Andy Stanley “Nothing tells your kids they are second rate more than you coming home still talking on the cell phone.” Jon Acuff. “Since when is Jesus not enough?” Judah Smith.
- It really was an amazing event. One of the things that I was incredibly honored to do is host a luncheon for Francis Chan and then one for Andy Stanley. I wish that I could have recorded both of the luncheons. They both said so many things that were amazing! Andy said one thing that has really been sticking with me. I wish I would have written it down. He said something like “when you preach to entitlement you fail every time. Instead teach people to be good stewards of what they have.” That’s not an exact quote but his point was right on. People feel entitled. Teach people to use what they have for God. If they are rich teach them to give. If they are talented then teach them to use their talents for God. That guy is a walking quote factory. He dropped a lot of knowledge.
- One of my highlights of Catalyst was meeting this guy…
When I tweeted the above pic my wife texted me and asked who that was. When I told her it was Jon Acuff she said, “I thought he was old.” She said that because he’s successful she had pictured him as being really old. He’s not. Oh and he’s a really nice guy.- Doh! That was my thought as I was walking into the grocery store and I realized that I left my wallet at home. At least I realized it then and not when I was at the cash register. I still hate it when that happens.
- My mom bought me an electric toothbrush. It’s amazing. I feel like I ate a dentist after I brush. I don’t really know what that last sentence means but I figure my teeth would be clean if I consumed a dentist.
- I’m not a cannibal.
- Okay there is this guy named Scott. We went to youth group together but I hadn’t seen him in years. He has recently joined the WEC band and is awesome. For some reason he made ribs and thought of my family. He brought over the most amazing ribs I’ve ever eaten. They were slap your mamma good.
- “All the other kids with the pumped up kicks, better run, better run, faster than my…”
- At WEC we baptized 399 people in two weeks. Talk about amazing! Wow!
- During one of the services the camera was on me and it was my turn to baptize someone. All of the sudden something scaly started wrapping itself around my leg. Everything in me wanted to squeal like a nine year old girl. I kept a straight face, baptized the person and then waited for the camera to go off of me. I thought for sure it was alive. Lucky for me it was a black lace headband. Whew.
- Somebody needs to tell my son that the planking craze was so last summer. He’s really good at it, but it’s an old fad.
I love going to Costco on Saturdays. Sure it’s extra busy but they have a lifetime supply of free samples! It’s amazing!- Disappointed. How I felt after I discovered my free sample at Costco was not edible. Curse you lotion.
- I was on a roll with the free samples and then I came upon a cup o lotion. I can’t eat that Costco!
- On Tuesday night someone in my Community Group told a story about a patient who was so backed up that they started puking poop. That is the grossest thing I’ve ever heard. I asked if they offered the patient toilet paper.
- I flew to Atlanta for Catalyst. Before I flew home I used the restroom in the airport. The urinals at the airport are Toto brand. Reminds me that there’s no place like home. Except at home I don’t have a urinal. Wish I did.
- I tweeted the above bullet. Sgt. Wolverine (a friend of the blog) tweeted back, gives a whole new meaning to “bless the rains down in Africa.” I thought that was really funny! If you don’t get that then you need to download the song “Africa” by Toto right now.
- Now my flight was scheduled for 8:2o AM. At 7:45 AM I walked past the airport food court. The longest line was for the Chinese joint. That was both amazing and disgusting.
- When I go to Catalyst I stay with my best friend since 7th grade, Chad Johnson (no not the football player). Chad is the Catalyst Concierge and everybody knows him. Walking around with him at Catalyst is literally like walking around with a 33 year old Justin Bieber. Or at least what I imagine it would be like to walk around with a 33 year old Justin Bieber. He seriously knows 13,000 people.
- Might be hard to tell but my son puked on Monica’s face. Gag nasty but I laughed really hard…
Now I was laughing really hard while holding my daughter, Reese. When I picked her up I noticed that my hand got wet when I touch her side. I then noticed a pile of pee on my jeans. I guess it serves me right for laughing at my wife.
Whew…I feel better now.
I have an almost identical picture with Jon from a couple or weeks ago.
I want a urinal too. My wife doesn’t understand and that’s ok.
I remember your pic with him. Very cool.
See, children are gross, and so is that person who puked poo. I don’t understand why after reading your post I only come away with some sort of sick toilet, vomit, or poo humor. Something is wrong with my head. I take this mind dump stuff literal. One question though, was Jon wearing a belt?
Children are gross, but adults are gross too. At least with kids they are cute. And I don’t know if Jon’s wearing a belt. It doesn’t look like it.
Be warned, what you call puke now you may realize in the future is not much worse than that lotion cup from Costco. Wait til those kids start consuming adult food, all I’m saying is imagine a child’s belly full of french fries and chicken nuggets, then suddenly that belly is no longer full of french fries or chicken nuggets. Milk/formula coming back up isn’t pleasant, but it gets worse.
Thanks for the warning Sirvhim! I am hoping my kids get my gift of never puking. That way I don’t have to clean up their mess.
You’re slipping Rob. No mention of Chipotle. I ate there yesterday. Eat your heart out!
Bill, I ate there on Wednesday. I make it about once a week. Love it!
Mind Dumps are my favorite of your blog posts!
Thanks Lauren. I hear that a lot. I’ll try to keep em coming.
Dude, you went to Catalyst? I was there. Had I known, I would have met up and gave you high five!
Next year?
Moe, I’d have loved to meet you in person. This was my tenth year. Unless something crazy happens I will be there next year.
If you don’t know “Africa” by Toto, you have serious problems that can be addressed only through counseling. Fortunately, I know a good counselor. His name is Dr. iTunes. Go have a session with Dr. i.
Also: I got mentioned in a robshep.com Mind Dump! This is like winning the lottery, except I won’t be poor again within only a few years.
Yeah I don’t know how people haven’t heard that song. That’s crazy.
Wow, some really big stuff going on!
Rob, once again it was good to see you in person at Catalyst.
Great list with some things that actually caused me to laugh out load, not that “LOL” crap that people overuse. Ate a dentist, …, man that is the good stuff. Have a great day.
Daniel, thanks man. I aim to please.
So did you end up actually slapping your mama?
Ed, nah. I think she’d slap me back.
Did you recruit him for next year?
Ricky, I didn’t. His wife left a comment on my blog and I really wanted to know why. I only had a few minutes with him so I went that rout.
I love mind dump days…here we go!!!
What is the Catalyst you speak of? Sounds awesome..
Does my wife want me to pick up her on my way home, or when I get there, obvious fix to this delimea right?
Yes, I can tell that Monica has been given a baby suprise!
How in the world, can I convince my wife that I NEED to read Jon Acuff’s book!
I didn’t get down to see Rob this week to sign my RESOLUTION! I wonder if YouTube has the part of Courageous when Xavier was in the back of the police car acting like the snake king leader?
399! Amazing! Me and my wife were 2 of those!
House Party here we come…..
Joseph, Catalyst is amazing. It’s a leadership conference and it’s the greatest conference in the history of conferences. You’d love it. I’ll see you Sunday and then at the House Party.
I have got to go to Catalyst. Do they let 43 year old guys in?
Larry, yep. You’d love it!
I sure hope so–I’ll be 43 the next time Catalyst Atlanta rolls around, yes, Rob, I’m old.
Chad, 43 is not old! You are good to go with Catalyst.
My one sister-in-law is an ER nurse.
My other sister-in-law is an Oncology nurse.
TRUST ME, puking poop is NOT the most disgusting thing that can happen to the human body. Also trust me that puke is NOT the most disgusting thing you can get sprayed on your face. TRUST ME.
I really wish I didn’t know the information I am alluding to. And I know you’ll want to know what I’m talking about, but embrace your poop puking story. It’s better this way.
My brother used to be a home care nurse. Due to extenuating circumstances, he was living with my mom. We were over visiting. My brother came home from his shift, dressed in scrubs, of course; my son wanted to hug him.
“Hi, uncle, can I hug you?”
“Whoa, there! I”ve got feces on me.”
“What’s feces?”
You see, Rob–this is what you have to look forward to: explaining exactly what “feces” are to your precocious children.
Mandie, will do! I can’t imagine anything grosser. You might need to share it with me just so I can know.
I’m exhausted reading this, Rob! But parts are really very amusing – LOVE the pictures too!
Thanks Cindy! And thank you for the shout this week on your blog!
Those shows can make any relationship fail because you’re on these great Fantasy dates, then there’s the Competition factor, and after the cameras go out the relationship sort of fizzles!
I think to my self that I have just Seen the person who asked this question. In the Marine Corps we would have named you the S-bird of the month