My brain is constipated with random thoughts. It’s time to free up some space with another Mind Dump…
- Fridays are my day off. Since my wife works I used to spend them blogging, watching movies, and taking naps. They were glorious. This school year my wife is job sharing. That means that for part of the week she is teaching and the other part she is watching our twins and our nephew. This is now what my Fridays look like…
It’s not the same but I wouldn’t change it. I love getting to spend time with my nephew and our twins. I’ll tell you what though, caring both those boys around is tiresome. My arms were sore from lugging them around.- Last week I won 2 books from blogs. Apparently my name was randomly selected from the comments. I don’t usually win. I was tempted to press my luck and play the lottery. I don’t play the lottery but I was tempted.
- I went to visit my wife’s class on the second day of school. She introduced each student by name. I was really impressed by that.
- I recently went to the grocery store to pick up a few things. Now I go to the grocery store often, but this time I had a list from my wife. I know exactly where the cereal, Mtn. Dew, frozen pizza, and DVD’s are. What I couldn’t find was cranberry sauce. I went up and down every isle multiple times. I think that grocery stores should come with tour guides for husbands with lists from their wives. CURSE YOU CRANBERRY SAUCE!
- Speaking of the grocery store – what is this, why is gelatin added, and have you eaten it?
On my search for cranberry sauce I saw Souse. Scary stuff.- A week ago we did baptism at Waters Edge. I love being a part of baptism. For this baptism we decided to mix things up and start the service with it. That was a great idea until I got to church on Sunday. During our run through before the service I realized that I only had 2 minutes to change clothes. We do a preshow before the service where I help welcome guests from the stage. I had to two minutes to change from my street clothes to my baptism clothes. It was such a short time that during one of the services I almost had to run out with no shirt on. I had seconds before I was supposed to be in the baptistry. I had just put on my swim trunks. I still had to have my mic taped to my back. In a panic I thought “I’m going to have to baptize people with no shirt on and that dang mic taped to my back hair. Luckily I made it out with a shirt on and all was well. It was a close one though.
- I don’t normally watch the news. I did however watch it a few times last week. Normally my jokes don’t have anything to do with the news but since I watched it they gave me some new ammunition. Have you seen the story about the mom who disciplined her son by giving him hot sauce and a cold shower? Well when my daughter was losing her mind I said to my wife, “is it time to give her hot sauce and a cold shower?” I was joking. What I found out is that I stink at making jokes from the news. My wife didn’t laugh. When I tweeted that joke I found out that a lot of other people don’t watch the news. They didn’t get it either. Lesson learned. No more jokes from the news.
- Did you watch college football on opening day? I didn’t but I feel like I did. Every time I opened Facebook/Twitter all I saw were posts about college football games. It made me wonder what people Facebooked/Tweeted about before college football.
- When I say Bang Bang Shrimp you say?
- I went to Bonefish the other day and their Bang Bang Shrimp is slap your mamma good.
- I don’t really know where the phrase slap your mamma came from. It’s not a good thing to slap your mamma. I know that and yet I say that phrase often.
- I met someone at Target. They go to Waters Edge and they wanted to see the babies. When they left they said, “Cheerio love.” I think she was from England. America might have won the war but we got destroyed in the language battle. Saying “bye” is not nearly as cool as “Cheerio love.”
- Do you remember “Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out?” That game is mad fun. I played it the other day on my Nintendo and it’s ridiculously hard. I couldn’t get past Soda Pop.
- And yes I do still have a Nintendo and yes it’s still hooked up. Oh and yes I do still play it from time to time.
- My wife ordered plush sharks for her classroom. They came in a box which included one mini box of Oatmeal Squares and no explanation. Weird.
- There is a local Mexican restaurant in the 757 that is taking over the world. It’s called Plaza Azteca and it’s yummy. Monica and I went there with our community group and our waiter was amazing! When we ordered our drinks he looked at me and said you have “one minute to win it” and then he walked away. We all laughed but we didn’t know what he was talking about. Later on he asked if we all went to WEC? He then told me that’s why he said Minute To Win It. He said that I’m the Minute To Win It Guy. Funny stuff.
- I ask the question why a lot. I want to know why things were made, why things were inspired, and why things aren’t questioned more. For example, I’ve been reading to my kids and I read a book with nursery rhymes in it. WHAT IN THE WIDE WORLD OF AWKWARD SITUATIONS INSPIRED THREE MEN TO GET INTO A TUB? Seriously, why are the butcher, the baker, and the candlestick maker in the bathtub together? Also why did them being in a tub together inspire someone to write it down? Oh and why is it a kid’s nursery rhyme?
Whew…I feel better now.
You forgot Chipotle and how many times you ate there this week. bummer! It has been several weeks for me. Hmmm I smell a Chipotle run coming. 🙂 Friday is my day off. Has been for almost 40 years. I used to love them. Do what I want to do. Ride as long as I want. Now my wife is not working. Guess what changed? EVERYTHING!!!! I love my wife but doggone those cutbacks! (Besides money is much tighter). Hope you have good day off tomorrow Rob. me? i have an 8:00 orthodontist appointment. How exciting is that?
Bill I never forget Chipotle. I ate there once this week. It was amazing.
Wow, this was a long list. You must be feeling much better now. I still laugh at the bit about the small box of cereal. Was it there by mistake? Did someone put it in there as a gag? Aren’t you glad they didn’t put in a a pouch of souse instead?
I’m so glad they didn’t put in a pouch of souse. That would be gag nasty.
Lol- yet another example why delving into the meanings of nursery rhymes often leaves me with more questions then answers.
After Ring Around the Rosey, London Bridge is Falling Down, A baby falling from a tree top, and an egg like figure who ceases to exist due to an unfortunate accident, I figure it’s time we come up with new ones; Unless the goal is to teach our children “Hey guess what? Life sucks sometimes.”
Sean, The life sucks line was really funny.
Bang Bang Shrimp is good. So, so good. They also have Bang Bang Shrimp Wednesdays at Bonefish, when it’s half price. Additionally, my sister cracked the Bang Bang Shrimp code, and I can now make it at home WHENEVER I WANT. (I want, often.)
I’ve heard about the Bang Bang Shrimp Wednesdays, but I don’t know how to make it myself. Can you share the recipe?
The hot sauce and shower was brilliant.
Thanks Michael. Finally someone who watches the news.
Some had some mind laxetive!!!! AHHH!!!! LOL….
Arny, That’s funny. What exactly is a mind laxative and does it come in pill form?
I also won two books off of blogs last week. Then I read them both over the weekend and felt kind of sad when they were gone.
My dad used to eat souse when I was a kid. All I remember is that it was a bunch of chopped up parts of stuff, and it was really, really spicy.
Russ, what books did you win? I won Knox McCoy’s and Tyler Tarver’s books.
Knox’s and Bryan Allain, although I guess that wasn’t really a win so much as a gift in consideration for review.
Hey Rob, thought you would like to know Plaza is doing so well they are taking over 804. There is now 2 in the Richmond area.
Chase, I didn’t know that. Crazy. They are in VA Beach and all over the Peninsula. Now Richmond. Crazy.
You WEAR ME OUT Rob! I’m literally exhausted from reading that. And I still have to pack to leave on our cruise tomorrow – so I better go and take a LONG walk first so I have the energy to do that! Wish I could bottle some of YOURS!!
Cindy, have fun on the cruise!
I completely know what you go through with random thoughts. I was driving the other day, and out of no where I started wondering what the weather is like in Aspen! I do not know a soul from there, nor have I ever been there. Let’s see if I can give this list thing a try..
.) Can velcro be improved, and if so, how else would we use it other than how we use it.
.) Is MMA a sport because there is a point system involved, or because we just classify it as a sport.
.) Why is dodge ball not more widly televised?
.) Should I wait another ten minutes to heat up my chicken parm, am I really that hungry.
.) Rob was right, MTPO is an awesome game. I wonder if I will ever get a chance to play it again. Soda Pop sucks.
.) Why is MTN Dew so addicting, will I ever be able to really get down to one soda a day?
the list could go on an on….wonder why?
Joseph, Nice Mind Dump. I bet you feel better now.
Bang Bang Shrimp sounds like the title of a Quentin Tarantino movie.
Burrill, if he ever makes a cartoon I bet that will be the name. I can see it now, a shrimp with guns who drops lots of f bombs.
I’m excited to know you still have and play Nintendo. This makes my opinion of you go higher.
Thanks Clay. I wish that they had the ability to play friends online. It would be fun to play against others who remember how amazing the Nintendo was.
why are you always constipated? jk.
-@terracecrawford
That’s funny Terrace. I think it might be because of something I eat. Chipotle?
I had a bad case of the souse one time. It cleared up with some ointment.
Matt, comment for the win. That was really funny.
That was awesome. And yes, England totally won the language war. British slang is so much cooler.
I hear ya on that. I don’t think that our language should be called English. It should be called American. I tried to watch an English program and I couldn’t understand a word of it.
I’m back.
On our first date, my husband and I rented About a Boy and when it started, my husband looked at me and said, “Oh, it’s in British?”
I won his heart when I said, “Yeah, I can translate for you, I’m fluent in British.”
Now that’s funny stuff. Welcome back.
Love the Mind Dumps, Rob.
I’m still bummed out over no more Lucky Charms…and yet I’ve got two boxes of Cheerios in my pantry.
I’ve also got too many whys and not enough answers.
Next tine you do water baptisms you should try a telephone booth to change…I hear it does a super job. 🙂