“Men are like microwaves and women are like crock pots” – author unknown.
Lately my wife has been into making meals using the crock pot. She has found multiple recipes for crock pots and even found a website dedicated to all things crock pots.
The other day she asked me to start the crock pot before I left for work. Her exact words were “the fate of crock pots everywhere depends on you getting this right.” She left me very specific instructions, “Press cook time until 8 hrs – Low is lit up.” She even set an alarm clock to help remind me to turn the crock pot on. Lucky for me I didn’t mess it up.
Whenever I hear about crock pots I can’t help but remember something that was said to me in premarital counseling. “Women are like crock pots and men are like microwaves.” It was during the intimacy discussion. Now I was a virgin before I got married so I didn’t have a fat clue what my pastor was talking about. All I knew is that microwaves and crock pots both make food. I love food so I thought he was saying I was going to love intimacy. Little did I know…little did I know.
Intimacy is pretty messed up in our society. We’ve made it strictly physical. I know it’s a little awkward to talk about but God is the one that came up with the idea. It was Him who created women to be more like crock pots and men to be like microwaves. So what exactly does that mean? Great question.
For guys intimacy starts in the bedroom. Most guys don’t need a lot of romance. A guy could get into a fight with his wife, apologize, and then smack her on the butt and be in the mood. Not so with girls. For girls it takes time. Whenever I do premarital counseling this is the advice I give to couples…
- Guys – romance your wife. Intimacy for her starts way before bedtime. It takes 8 hours to prep a meal in a crock pot. 8 hours! For women it starts when she knows that you are thinking about her throughout the day by sending her a text. It starts when you walk into the kitchen and rub your fingers through her hair for no reason. It starts when you give her your undivided attention. Too many guys retire the romance jersey once they get married. Guys need to know that whatever they did to win their wife is the same thing they need to do to keep her.
- Girls – guys don’t think like you. It takes seconds to microwave most meals. Your man just needs you to call Victoria and ask her what her secret is. Too many wives forget Victoria’s number and settle for a ratty t-shirt and some comfy pajama pants. Now if you can’t afford Victoria then just cut some strategic holes in that ratty t-shirt and viola. Most women make it really easy on the guy at first. I think it’s because they are trying to win him over but at the beginning of most relationships the guy doesn’t have to work that hard. But something happens after after the honeymoon. After they get married the wife develops sudden headaches that tend to happen at bedtime. The point is that whatever you did to attract your guy is the same thing that you need to do to keep him.
The bottom line is that men and women are different. I’ll give you a second as you let that profound thought sink in. Whew. Okay, back to the point. Men and women are different. We don’t think like the opposite sex. But in marriage we are called by God to put our spouse’s needs ahead of our own. When a husband puts his wife’s needs first she doesn’t have a problem meeting his needs. And when a wife puts her husband’s needs first he doesn’t have a problem meeting her needs.
Good words brother, very good reminder for me. Sometimes for us slow witted gents it would sure be convenient if our wife gave us that gentle reminder to start the crock pot, how easy it is (for me at least) to forget about that prep time when I live in a microwave world. Although I suppose really we shouldn’t need a reminder as long as we’re putting our spouse at the top of our priority list the crock pot will take care of itself.
Sirvhim, you are early this morning. Normally your comments come a little later in the day. Speaking of a good reminder my wife said to me “remember that I’m a crock pot.” as she was leaving for work.
Rob this is a subject that you have talked about and written about before, but the message never gets stale. Now, if I just had someone to apply this sage advice toward … ugh.
Daniel, As soon as I read your comment I prayed that God would give you the desires of your heart.
I recall a certain saying…
Guys: Be a husband during the day…and a boyfriend at night…
Nice saying. Who said it?
wow, i thought it said ‘men are like crack pipes’ wrong analogy. perhaps the next post?
Ahh the old crack pipe analogy. Men are like crack pipes and women are like…?
Well said Rob. Putting my wife’s needs is a priority for me. Luckily I have a wife who puts my needs in front of hers. In the end everyone’s needs are met. I’m blessed to have such a wonderful marriage! 🙂
So true! I am also blessed to have an awesome wife.
Great analogy in theory but it’s not especially complimentary to consider females as crock-pots:) How about the difference between a Salisbury steak TV dinner vs. a carefully grilled succulent steak with all the trimmings. Now, we’re cooking.
Funny. But Salisbury steak TV dinners are gross.
Injoyed the insight. Strangley, I think my wife looks extremely smoking hot in thoe lounge around the house look..lol. Now, I am going to go buy my wife the Crock Pot she has been wanting, I am taking this as a sign.
Joseph, that’s funny. You should def buy her the crock pot. It’s not just an analogy. It also makes yummy food.
I did, I left work early, and bought her one..She was crazy excited.
Excellent advice.
I think Dr. Eggerichs (Love & Respect), put it well: a man’s need for a physical connection is a mirror of a woman’s need for an emotional connection. And yet men get a bad rap for needing sex and women are exalted for all their feelings.
We’re not wrong. Just different.
Wow! So true. Thanks for this! I am going to borrow that for the future.
Glad I waited until my students went home to read this. Mostly because I just laughed out loud at least 4 times 🙂 .. This is SO true and SO funny. I still remember the first time I announced I had a headache and was immediately mortified at the look on my husband’s face. The look said it all. “Woah. Wait. Hold the front door. She just used the excuse everyone kept warning me about. I’m doomed.”
HAHAHAHA… Great post!
Thanks Danielle. I was nervous about this post. I hoped the people would find humor and truth in it.
There it is. Rob solved the world’s hardest problem. No need for anything else. (I keed, I keed).
Relationships are complicated. Even more so, because we are so self-centric. We only care about the “me” in the relationship. I wish I can say it was different in Christianity, but I’m afraid it’s the same.
What keeps my fire burning? I tell my wife, I have a tattoo of Peter in my right cheek. As I squeeze them, he smiles back and forth… sometimes he may even let out a pfffft! 🙂
Now that’s funny stuff.
I’m not sure how to respond. I have 5 tats but none of them have that ability.
Time to get that sixth tat.
Rob, I can’t believe you would talk about such a……delicate subject.
Rob, I absolutely LOVED this blog! It makes me, once again, thankful to God that he called you into the ministry because you are extremely gifted at being able to put it into words the facts as God made them.
Thanks Ruth. It makes my day that you read my blog. It really does encourage me! Thanks!
About 2 years I go I wrote an article “Men are Simple” and in it – is this very same idea. You don’t need too much to impress a man – if you know how to do it, that is. Men need to be the “hero” in your life – they need to be fed and they need physical love. That’s really about it. Simple. Women – much more complicated – I wrote an article on that too – to follow up with the first one “If Men are Simple – what are Women?” Just true observations and differences which make marriage and relationships in general – REALLY FUN!! You got it exactly right, Rob. And the longer you’re married – it never changes the rules.
Great post Rob…I’ve heard this before somewhere, but realize the longer me and Billy are married the truer it is. 🙂 We’re so different, and understanding those differences makes a big difference.
This has been a huge lesson that I’m still learning in my marriage. The thing about crock pots is that they require forethought and pre-planning…same with making our wives feel loved and appreciated.