There is something awkward about public men’s locker rooms. At a local YMCA in order to get to the racquetball courts you have to walk through the men’s locker room/showers. Wet naked men are everywhere. I keep my eyes down and I pray I don’t slip on the wet floor. I don’t know what would be worse for me…A. The slip that would land me on a wet floor and would really hurt. B. The fact that I’m now laying on the floor in a men’s locker room. How many germs would I collect as I laid there? The thought alone is gag nasty. C. The fact that when I opened my eyes the only people around me would be naked men. I say all that to say I think this is the reason guys don’t have showers for significant events.

This month my wife is getting her first baby shower. She’s almost as excited about the shower as she is about the babies. Girls love showers. They have showers for weddings, and babies. Now granted the shower for the baby is more about the baby then the mom, but moms love the shower.  Guys on the other hand don’t want or get showers. The closest we come is a bachelor party. Now for some this might be an exciting thing, but being a Christ Follower mine consisted of dinner with friends. It was good, but it wasn’t that different than a typical night out and it wasn’t a shower.

I motion for a shower for guys who would like showers. In order for that to happen a few things would need to take place…

1. Change the name. As mentioned in the first paragraph there is nothing but grossness at local places where guys shower. The name would make too many cringe. I say we change the name to BACON. What guy doesn’t like bacon? I was trying to think of another name that would describe most guys and this was the best I could come up with. My other thoughts were smelly, jock itch, and hairy…none of those would draw guys to a man shower. Bacon on the other hand would.
2. Get rid of all the girly games. Instead of girly shower games we could play Black Ops, beat the mess out of a pinata stuffed with stuff that guys like, and watch movies that guys like. You know…Rocky IV, Tombstone, Gladiator, Die Hard, and Predator.
3. Gifts. For gifts it should be stuff that guys aren’t allowed able to buy for themselves. You know things like motorcycles, video games, tattoos etc. There are certain things that guys want and they aren’t allowed able to get. They can’t get them because either they can’t afford them or because their wife won’t let them has other plans with the money.
4. Food. Food should consist of wings, burritos, nachos, and energy drinks and it should all be eaten by using their hands.
5. Etiquette. This will be up to the guy that the shower is for. If he likes to burp then Burps R Us it is. If he’s not then they should at least have a burping competition.

Ok so my idea is pitched. What would you add to a Guy Shower Bacon?