Okay so the financial landscape of America is looking pretty grim these days. I don’t really follow politics but it’s been hard to ignore. I think we will be okay but it has me thinking about the end of the world. If something drastic did happen and say America became like one of the post apocalyptic movies. You know, Mad Max, The Book of Eli, Children of Men, or The Road? If something did happen and America became like one of those movies I would be screwed. I’m a pastor for crying out loud. I went to school to become a pastor. Unless people want to hear about Jesus or have someone pray for them I posses zero qualities that would be useful in post apocalyptic America. For example…
- I own zero camping equipment because I believe camping is going back in time. It’s like having to write a 20 page paper and using a stone tablet and a chisel. Why would you go back in time to use something that we left? We have beds! Beds are amazing! We have AC. AC is amazing! We don’t get man-napped (kids get kidnapped grown men get man-napped) when we go to the dirty public bathroom at night. Leaving the campsite to go to the bathroom is the scariest move you will ever make. If the end of the world happens and I have to camp I’m screwed.
- I have never shot an animal. I don’t hunt unless you count aiming my car at crazy squirrels who run across the street. If the end of the world happens and I have to shoot my own food I’m screwed.
- I don’t know how to garden. I know some people who grow their own gardens. Not this guy. I hate working out in the yard and growing a garden seems hypocritical to me. If the end of the world happens and I have to grow my own food I’m screwed.
- I possess zero building skills. If something breaks in my house I pay someone to fix it. If the end of the world happens and I have to build shelter I’m screwed.
- I don’t own any weapons. If the end of the world happens we are going to need weapons to survive. Have you seen Mad Max? Not only do I lack an ample supply of weapons I also lack fighting skills. Fighting skills come in mighty handy during post apocalyptic times. If the end of the world happens and I have to fight for my life I’m screwed.
- I’m not prepared for the end of the world. If the end of the world happens you need things like hidden bunkers, a year supply of food, and generators. I own none of those things. If the end of the world happens and I have to be prepared I’m screwed.
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” Matthew 6:25-27 – Jesus.
Thinking about the end of the world as we know it can be a scary thing. It wouldn’t hurt to be prepared for the end of the world. I probably should learn Jiu-jitsu and stock up on canned meat. If the end of the world as I know it happens before then I know I will be okay. God loves me and will take care of me. We can worry about the end of the world but it won’t change what’s going to happen.
What skills would you bring to a post apocalyptic world?
I enjoy camping, and at least we own sleeping bags! I’m pretty handy & resourceful too. Plus, people are likely to need Jesus desperately, so you won’t be completely worthless.
True. Just so you know my plan is to get to Farmville and live with the Manis’. They are farmers and own guns.
LOL Monica! Ya’ll need to camp with us! It’s not what you think! We have AC in the summer. heat in the cold.
A generator, internet, indoor plumbing and real beds. Roughing it is if we don’t have cable…
Oh and a pair of glasses on a sunny day will start a fire…
Just sayin’ 🙂
I think I’m fairly handy, but I don’t know how that would help in the end of times. I can shoot, have weapons, but I’m also flexible. Being flexible will help me hide, which is what I would probably do if I were in any type of “war” like situation.
If you can shoot, have weapons, and can hide then you are golden.
Very funny perspective on this one. A few good chuckles and guffaws is a wonderful way to start off my day. As for me, my top skills for the end of the world, napping and watching T.V..
Good luck with that. You and I seem to have the same skills. We might not last long together.
After reading your post I think I will be in good shape 🙂 of course I don’t own anything camo, so my man points are down a little…. But a side thought, I’m all good for Christ to return so we don’t have to live all madmax like!
Nic, me too. I just hope He comes back before the Mad Max times hit America.
I hear you have to be really good with a can opener too…and have to really like Spam.
I am okay with a can opener but I hate Spam. I’m screwed.
Thought-provoking comments. Knowing the gospel and how to enter the kingdom is my best defense, but literally surviving on the land would be a challenge. I have shot a gun but do not own one. I have gone fishing a couple of times, but do not own the equipment. I have it–I know how to use an iron skillet. It is probably the most primitive, versatile tool I own. It could pack a powerful wallop as a defense tool, and could withstand the rigors of cooking on an open fire.
Well, can you build a fire? I can’t. That skillet would come in handy but only if you can build a fire.
Glad you made this into a blog post. It’s a good one.
Thanks DP. It started with our conversation.
I’ll be honest: I make a mean smore. In an apocalyptic word there will be lots of fires and such, right? Yeah, smores all day long, baby.
So it’s about 8 hours to GA from VA. How bout we meet halfway and make smores together if the end of the world happens. I’ll bring the hangers.
Great post, but I do have to disagree on one point – you do have fighting skills.
Remember that video where you slapped the dude because you forgot your lines? That slap was wicked vicious!
As for post-apocalyptic survival skills, I can hide really well.
Top that!
Ricky, that is a good point but a slap doesn’t go far when you show up to a gun fight.
Cool book on this subject: Emergency – This Book Will Save Your Life by Neil Strauss. It got me thinking about many of the same things and motivated enough to get CERT training from the local fire department. I can now search a smoke-filled room and drag a body out and crib up heavy objects to extract a crushed victim. Other than that, fairly useless.
Rick, I just read your bio. My new plan of action might just be to get to Cali and find you. You seem pretty BA. Thanks for stopping by.
I can teach you physical and mental toughness and you can teach me how to lead the men’s growth groups department. Come on out!
Rob – the Survivalist Movement is growing by the day. I don’t disagree that the future currency of the world will be ammunition, food, and fuel when the end times are near. But as Christians we don’t have to worry about that. We are in a kingdom economy – God will provide.
If you look at the story of Joseph, the times in Egypt probably felt like the end. Notice Joseph had nothing stored up himself. The only thing he had was an ability to listen to God’s voice – yet he used that to survive. Joseph didn’t have anything himself, but he controlled what others had. I believe Christians are called to the marketplace (among other reasons) because some day when times get tough, they will be in a position to distribute resources to people who need it. Thus preparing for the end times has nothing to do with “storing up” and everything to do with possessing the right relationships with people who have resources.
Agreed.
I think I’m going to trade the Oldsmobile in for a tank this afternoon.
Your comment is awesome! Love that. Made me laugh.
I make an awesome fish face. Now before you write me off, here me out. Since won’t be television, performers will be able to trade their skills for goods. Ka Ching.
Bam. That’s some great thinking. Except in post apocalyptic times food will be hard to come by. Making a fish face may cause someone to try to eat you. What else do you have?
Well, I wouldn’t worry too much, as a “first world” country I’m pretty sure Americans are screwed, most of us are too soft and pampered to survive the end of the world. We’ll probably go quickly and not have to endure eking (who knew that’s how you spell eking?) out a meager existence in a harsh world with few comforts or pleasures. That’s the good news .. the bad news is there would be no more robshep.com!!!
Ahh thanks. Who knows maybe I could keep it going by getting a generator or by moving to Canada.
I’ve shot a weapon. Not while camping, though (but I’ve been tempted). The only weapon I tend to wield now is snark/sass.
I got a bona fide Swiss Army knife when I was eight – did a lot of whittling with that think that summer. So I can sharpen a lot of arrow points from maple saplings or punji spikes that could be dipped in feces like the vietcong – after that, I got nothing.