On Thursday we found out that Monica will have a c-section on April 12. Our due date for our twins was April 25ish. It kept switching back and forth anywhere from the 21st to the 27th. Now don’t get me wrong I am excited as a 6 year old boy on Christmas morning, but I am also a wee bit scared. It reminded me of a post I did back in August. Back then we didn’t know we were having twins, and we didn’t know that one was a boy and one was a girl. In case you missed it here is a post from way back in August 2010 entitled “I’m Scared To Be A Dad.”
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This is a HUGE week for my wife, Monica, and me. This is our final week of IVF. If all goes well we will be pregnant in two weeks. I want kids, so what I’m about to say may seem contradictory to that statement. I’m scared to death to have kids. To quote the movie “Batman Begins” “We always fear what we don’t know.” I don’t know kids. I know babies even less. I want kids, but the following are some things that I’m scared about…

• Changing diapers. I talk about poop. Talking about poop is funny. Cleaning it up on the other hand is gag nasty. I’m scared to clean the poop.
• Not having alone time. I’m a people person, but I need a little bit of alone time. I recharge with alone time. Kids don’t allow you to have alone time.
• Being tired. I don’t do well without sleep. I get cranky. I get really cranky and then I get sick.
• Jacking my kid up. Every kid has a wound created by their parents, but I’m scared to create one in my kid.
• Kids music and TV. I tried to watch Yo Gabba Gabba and I wanted to punch myself in the throat. I don’t know how parents put up with things like Barney, Hannah, and the Wiggles. I’d rather pretend that TV wasn’t invented then watch those shows.
• I can’t say no to my wife because I love her. I’m scared that I will spoil my kids, and that I won’t be able to discipline them because I want them to love me back. I know it’s wrong, but I’m scared I won’t be strong.
• Having girls. I don’t know how to deal with girls. I was a little boy once so I feel confident that I will be able to relate to a boy. Sports, action figures, and super heroes are all things I can relate to. Dress up, dolls, and tea parties scare me to death.
• Having multiple kids at once. I would like to have multiple kids, but I’m scared to have them all at once. If we do have multiples I would like to have my own reality TV show called “What the Flock!” My last name is Shepherd so having a flock of kids would fit the title of the show right?
• Multiple girls at once. Monica keeps talking about having girl triplets. No offense girls, but girls are drama. I don’t know what I’d do with three baby girls. When Monica asked me what we would name the third, because we only have two girl names picked out, I responded with we don’t have to come up with a third name because we can just let the adoptive parents name the third one. It was a joke…but not really. I’m scared of girl triplets.
• Having an ugly baby. Despite what people say about all babies being cute…it’s a lie.
• Being spit up on. I’m scared of the spit up.
• I’m scared because I’ve never been a dad before. What I’m not scared about is having kids with Monica. I know her and she’s amazing. Because of that I can’t wait to be a dad!