I am reminded on almost a weekly basis that there are a lot of people who are hurting.
I received an ugly email not too long ago. The person who sent it apologized the next day. They apologized point 5 seconds before I hit the send button on a kick butt reply email. My email was about to destroy their email and the mean things that they said. I felt like I had such a solid reply it would have caused them to not only apologize, but also buy me a lifetime supply of Chipotle. Oh wait I am about to have twins…change that to buy me a 2 year supply of diapers for the twins and one Chipotle burrito for myself. Oh and something nice for the Mrs. as well. It was that good of a reply email.
I was literally reading over my reply email one last time when the person who sent the email came into my office. The first thing that they did was apologize for their email. They apologized before I had the chance to send my awesome reply email. They then told me about how they were hurting. Hurt people hurt people. Hurt people hurt others with their comments. When you hurt you are not yourself. Their email now made sense and I was glad I never got to send my epic reply email.
This was just one of the many hurting people that I came in contact with that week. I have a friend who is going through an awful month. He’s hurting. I know a couple who just went through the same in-vitro fertilization process as Monica and me except that it didn’t take. They had to travel for three hours for their treatments and it didn’t take. They are hurting. I know a homeless lady who in tears told me about the emotional pain she was dealing with. She’s hurting. There are a lot of hurting people.
Right now I’m not hurting, but I’ve been there. Since I’m not hurting now I want to help others who are. One day when I’m hurting again I hope someone will be there for me. Would you say that you are hurting or in a place to help others who are?
Oh and I kept a draft of my reply email just so I can read it again. It really was epic.
I love that people in our church have you to rely on when they are hurting.
I know you have helped me a few times when things have turned dark on me. Of course, even though you have a support system in place, I am available to talk if ever needed. Maybe you need the opinion of an actual, card carrying, real-life nerd. Oh and when it comes to email, I am learning to never send out my first emotional response. No matter how good it seems to read when it is fresh, it almost always seems to make things worse. I am learning to get the emotions out, let things settle, and then tone the note way down. Blessings.
ooohhh…you are a good man for NOT sending it anyway!! hahaha!
oh, and if you have an extra $100 laying around, i have a gift for the Mrs. that she specifically said she wanted 🙂
i appreciate the message in your post, and i definitely don't argue the point that hurting people can have a tendency to hurt others more than when they are care free. but, i don't know that the two – being in pain or able to help those in pain – are mutually exclusive. hurting allows you to empathize in a way that may be more meaningful and comforting to someone experiencing your same pain. it's what you do with pain and painful experience and the ways you cope which really determine your ability to help others who are hurting. just a thought, and probably not one you haven't already had..
Great thoughts. Love it.
Lindsey, you need to email or message me that idea. Thanks.
Daniel, it's true. I called her first because I wanted to talk in person. She didn't answer so I went back to the email.
Melissa, I'm glad that WEC has you. You deal with more hurt from people then I do.
What a great post Rob! Though I have had my fair share of times of hurting, thankfully right now I'm in a position to return the favor so many have bestowed on me during the difficult times. It's really on my heart these days to reach out to people in pain. Think I'll go get started on that now…
Great post…we just did a series on "hurt people hurt people"…today im not hurting but ask me tomorrow and it will be different shah can't wait to see hayden and Reece!
I have found that cliche to be absolutely true in the past few months. I have seen hurt people hurt people. I've been on the receiving end of that and have probably dished out my fair share as well. I've also created some kick-butt emails that should have been on Fox News or CNN. Why do I engage the drama with more drama? I spent so much brain power and energy on replies- when all along I should have just remembered- Hurt people hurt people.
Thanks for the post. It reminds me that, even though I'm perfect, I will still have people who are upset with me.
Rob, I would have to say that I am in a place of hurting right now and not really having a place I feel safe to figure it out. Even saying that out loud is hard because I do know how blessed I am and things could be so much worse. So, one way to deal with the hurt for me is to be there for those that are hurting and focus on really being there not just saying I will. This time has really opened my eyes to how much I have said call me any time even at 2am and I will be there BUT then NOT really living up to that. I don't want to be that person any more. Pain is relative to who ever is living through it and I might complain about having no shoes until I meet someone with no feet. : )
Kim, I'm sorry to hear that. I love what you said about the shoes and no feet. So true.
Kyle, you are perfect. Thanks for the comment.
Susu! I can't wait for you to meet Hayden and Reeece!
Thanks Carolyn. Is this Caroly Ritchey?
Yes! : )
This is a great post. I find my self if a place of hurting right now. It is hard to even say that given, there is so many wonderful things happening. I am aware that this area of hurting exists and try to make sure it does not cause me to hurt others. Again, great post!
Thanks Cyndy.