I have wrestled with this blog for a few weeks now. I feel like I could never get it exactly where I wanted it. I have finally just decided to post it as is and see where it lands. Let me know your thoughts.
I have a theory about being critical. I think that in a lot of cases being critical can be sign of passion. For example a person who doesn’t care about basketball is most likely not going to yell at the refs at a basketball game. Why? They aren’t passionate about it. On the other hand someone that is passionate about basketball will be more critical of the refs.
I am really critical about movies. Bad movies drive me crazy. I sometimes wish that I could just enjoy movies like most of my friends, but I can’t. I am critical. I am passionate about movies so I expect more from them.
I am really critical about church services. I wish I could sit through a church service and not critique everything. I am critical because I am passionate about church.
Some people are critical of fashion, other people’s parenting, bad grammar, or overweight people. I am betting that they are critical because they are passionate about those things.
Now the problem with being critical is it tears down something or someone else. The alternative is to not be passionate about anything. Maybe my theory is wrong but I know for myself I am most critical about the things I am most passionate about.
I think that the times I am most critical expose the times that I understand God’s grace the least. God loves us not because we perform. God loves us not because we obey. God loves us not because we don’t make mistakes. God loves us in spite of our mistakes. God’s grace is amazing. And yet when someone else doesn’t meet our expectations we criticize.
So here’s my thought…if our critical thought can make something better then we should say the truth in love. On the other hand if our thought doesn’t make anything better then we should keep the thought to ourselves. When we have a thought that we should keep to ourselves we should replace it with, if not for the grace of God I would be _____. Fill in the blank with whatever would fit.
So what are you most critical about?
Rob, good article. I really don't like it when people are critical either, and yet I find myself in that category way too often.
However, I think my reasons differs from yours. I think it comes down to pride. Here's an example: One of the things that I am most critical about is editing mistakes. I spent the better part of a year while on active duty in the Air Force editing performance reports and awards for over 200 people. I now cannot read a single thing without mentally editing it. While I don't feel I'm passionate about editing (I really DID NOT like that year), I am very prideful about it. The other thing is people NOT getting over for emergency vehicles — drives me crazy. I guess I figure I can follow the law, why can't others.
So while I can see how a person's passion can lead them to being critical, for me, it comes down to pride. Something I'm trying to overcome with God's help. Let's pray I can humble myself before God needs to step in and do it.
Thank you for your time you spend doing this, and I hope I didn't sound too critical…
Colleen
Colleen, you didn't sound critical at all. You may have something with the pride.Thanks for the comment.
I am way too critical about too many things. Other people's grammar and syntax (like your use of "preform" when you meant to say "perform"). I am critical of other people's work ethic and attitude. I am critical of other people's driving. I am critical of how people treat their children. I am critical of what cars other people own. I am critical when people are too happy or too talkative. I am critical of way, way too many things, especially myself. Jeez, I really am a piece of work huh?
I'm hyper-critical about music, performed live or recorded. As a musician I'm listening for every instrument, the mix, who is off time, are they perfectly in tune, etc. I also used to work in a recording studio for a short while and poor production on recorded music drives me insane.
I also have no patience for people who drive UNDER the posted speed limit and bicyclists who don't obey traffic laws but expect the same rights as motorists.
Photography & church services. Last Sunday while visiting a church, I had to pray throughout just so I could concentrate because I was being so critical of everything. In that situation, it would not have been right for me to speak up, so I didn't.
Don't even get me started on photography… 😉
Daniel, thanks for catching that. I suck at grammar.
I have to be careful about being critical as well. I find myself doing this the most with the people I am closest to because I 'want the best for them'. Sometimes I think that it is just my cover to be able to say what I want. I have to be careful about not being too comfortable with the people I love. Most times they probably don't need my passion:-)
By the way, Lemmy is me, Andrea Moschler. I just posted my first comment ever on a rob shep blog:-)
I am critical about misspellings and improper use of grammar. I edit everything I read. I cannot help myself. Sometimes, I wish that I were not so critical of the written word because it is hard to grasp the subject matter if the article is full of misspellings and incorrect punctuation. Also, I have a problem with people who cannot pronounce words correctly. It makes me laugh sometimes, and that is not helpful to anyone. I like your take on being passionate about things. You generally have a thought provoking perspective on ordinary things. I like that.
I think linking passion to being critical is dead on. However, I think it doesn't cross the boundary of pride until you share your critique with others. When you are thinking:
"oh I could do it so much better than they did" or "why on earth would anyone do it that way ..I would NEVER."
Once you share this with anyone your pride has taken over. Whether is driving skill or music, or critiquing a sermon at another church.
Voicing your opinion is not really the issue, especially when someone ask you for it (this falls under the truth with love) but I believe unless you are in the shoes of the person doing whatever it is you disagree with consider it an opportunity to improve yourself – step back and say ok this is what I can take away.
If you take the concept that almost everyone can agree upon – the moving out of the way of emergency vehicles – I would say 90% of people know exactly what they are suppose to do but a LOT of people fail at this and many people are furious in their car watching the idiot not moving. The game we like to play is "what if"
What if you were driving the car in the way (radio too loud?, screaming children in the back seat, bum on side of the road, cars too close to you and crazy intersection)
What if you were driving the emergency vehicle? (siren and horns blasting, house on fire, other people depending on you, cat stuck in a tree)
Perspective is everything ….guess what? …. a year from now – you being critical can only affect YOU. 5 years?, 10 years?
Thank God for His grace and that He is not critical of you. He threw his son in front of a grenade for you. You would hardly do the same. That is passion.
Passion and Pride–sounds like a movie title. Passion drives us to excel and make things better. Too often a critic is prideful, judgmental and, as you mention, tears down rather than builds up. I accept and thrive on constructive criticism provided by those who can help me to excel; this kind of critic brings out my best, but I shy away from judgmental, opinionated critics who seem to see the negative in everything except what they deem as superior. These folks close me down and cause me to retreat and stop trying. Consequently, I am in turn critical of them for being so opinionated, negative, and critical. The spirit of the Pharisee stinks.
And look who DIDN'T edit her post (my reason differs from yours)…See, I'm a hypocrite:-)
Meema92, sometimes I am shocked that you put up with my blog. I do my best but almost daily Monica is correcting one of my many mistakes. Thanks for pushing through your critical eyes and still reading my mess.
Yay! This makes my day. Welcome to the comments.
Great stuff Ken. Is that grenade part a reference to a past post? I like!
Susan, I won't.
I know that spirit oh too well.
Thanks Derek!
I'd never thought about this that way, but I think you're right. Good insight. I think passion is great, and something much needed, but like you said we have to be careful that our passion for something doesn't lead us to tear down other people. I know a lot of people who think screaming and yelling at someone/something will light a fire under them and make them motivated to improve on something. But it does damage instead.
Austin Lee, it damages indeed. I shut down when someone starts yelling.
I am most critical about my children.
Michele, I think I will learn about this real soon.
I am critical of people who do not lend a helping hand when there are things to be done. I try not be but it drives me crazy. Your blog makes me feel better to believe that passion for serving and helping lead me to be critical.
You may be on to something here: that we (sometimes? often?) are critical about what we're passionate about. I've yelled at a ref or two in my time. I don't think the inverse is true, though, not that you imply it is in any way. I'm passionate about a lot of things I'm not critical of. I think it's also tied to purpose somehow.
Now I've talked myself into a circle, I fear. Can I blame it on the fact I have twins?
Actually I think the use of 'preform' would be a typo, not incorrect grammar. Oh no, I just was just being critical of Daniel's criticism! …can't…stop…vicious…cycle…
"Who ARE these people?!" This is a comment I make often whenever I hear about something so ridiculous, or sad, or disgusting, or criminal, or…basically anything that just appalls me in some way. I am critical because I don't understand their brain, their thinking, their reasoning, their actions…But I also end up eventually thanking God that I was lucky enough to be who I am, raised as I was, and living the life I live because if not for the grace of God, I could BE one of those people. We ALL struggle with something, big and/or small, and I have to remind myself that it isn't my place to judge, we will all answer to Him one day.
I agree that much criticism does extend from a passionate love for something, though there are also people who just seem to enjoy tearing down others to make themselves appear better in comparison. There's a fine line there at times, and when we criticize, it should be asked of ourselves the purpose of that criticism: is it to make something better, or to damage someone else's attempt? My children have taught me to be less critical: I appreciate the effort, if not always the result. That has, in turn, bled over into the rest of my life. I still see faults, I just tend to keep them to myself unless I can genuinely benefit another person by voicing them (most of the time, anyway)…
Rob, I really liked this article I thought it was GREAT!! I am passionate about Homeschooling and I get defensive when people are critical of it. I had someone say just the other day " I could never homeschool, my kids are just too smart they need honors and AP classes and the Talented and Gifted program" : ) well knowing what I know about homeschooling I have learned NOT to argue my point any more and just let the results speak for themselves. It's taken me awhile to learn to just sit back and wait. I am also passionate about WEC and here too I am learning to just sit back and let the results speak for themselves. Some one asked me when I had my WEC shirt on the other day " Is that the church where the parking lot attendees where shorts and flips and they actually play corn hole in the SANCTUARY" I was excited and said YES : ) lets just say that was not the response they were hoping for so… I love my church and I wish everyone was as excited about what God is doing there as I am but I am learning not to be so critical about it. Thanks for posting and for being so dedicated too! : )
Well, I don't impose my issues on everyone, you know. I do know when to keep my mouth (or, in this case, my fingers) to myself. I just suffer in silence. Really, though, I read your blog because it inspires me sometimes and makes me laugh out loud at other times. You do good work.
Whoa… I'm digging this! I have felt convicted on my pride taking over on my criticism of someones "kindness" or "communication"… NEVER connected my passion with it. And, that rocks my world to think about connecting it back to really needing a deeper understanding of God's grace for my life… Thanks for another great post you shared!