My twins have developed baby ADD. Well, it has not been diagnosed and I am not going to mention it to a doctor for fear that they’d put them on baby Ritalin. Here’s the scene: I am holding one of the twins and they become interested in everything but me. Now in case you were about to say well maybe they don’t like you, it’s not just me. They tend to do this with others as well. While sitting on my lap they will look around at everything else. It’s really tough when I am trying to feed them. They will turn their head away and lose focus of their yum yums (that’s what I call their bottle food) and focus on whoever is talking.
Last week I went to a conference called Catalyst. It’s one of my favorite parts of the year. I love it because I get to see friends that I haven’t seen since college, or seminary. I get to hang out with my best friend since 7th grade. I get to meet bloggers who I’ve only seen online. I love the Catalyst experience. But one thing that I love above everything else are the challenges that I get from the speakers. This year’s theme was “Be Present.” I was challenged in so many ways but near the beginning of the conference I was challenged about being present with my kids.
Here’s the deal, I love my kids! I love my kids and yet I spend a lot of time holding them while I’m looking at my smart phone. I was hit with conviction when one of the speakers talked about being addicted to our phones. My kids are only six months old. I hate to think that they may have learned to be absent from me. I often am present in person but absent in the mind. Does that mean I’m absent minded? I don’t know. What I do know is that I’m often with people and my mind is somewhere else. I’m often with my kids and my attention is on my smart phone. Maybe it’s hereditary or maybe it’s something my kids picked up from me. I just want to do a better job of being present.
How about you? When do you struggle to be present?
1st
Jeff, Success!
I felt bad for you. I wanted you to win something
That was really funny Ryan.
I think your babies are just being human….they are just realizing that there is so much more to life then what is right in front of them… Hmmm, kind of like how a majority of us are when we sit down with our bibles and try and focus on our Heavenly Father? I wonder if He feels the way you just described while holding us up while we are always looking around and searching for something else? I think society is to blame for a majority of us NOT being present. How do we fix this? Good question, good question indeed.
Thanks Michele!
I struggle all the time. I cannot multi-task so if I am with someone I have to be with them. If I am doing something else and someone wants my attention I have to face them and give them my undivided attention. I am wired that way. But you do make a good point about being present.
Bill, I feel like I’m good at multi-tasking but my wife often says she doesn’t feel like she has my undivided attention.
Rob, at work I have turn away from my computer if someone on my team wants to talk to me. Otherwise, I will get bored with what they’re talking about and start reading email.
By the way, I’m reading and rspondingcto this on a smart phone.
Larry, I’m the exact same way.
Good point today. As a parent, I find it is easy to make a needed change for a few days. However, sticking it out with purpose and consistency over the long haul is very difficult.
I can only imagine Daniel.
A Roman statesman once declared, “Lend me your ears.” He simply meant, “Listen to me.” With all the technological advances of the day, I don’t think there is anything people crave more than to be heard, to have the undivided attention of a good listener. Good listening often brings resolution, healing, and understanding, but listening is hard work. It means focusing on someone other than self. Like the twins, I often find myself wandering rather than being fully engaged.
I was just thinking about this over the weekend while I was traveling for business. I realized that I spend my time away thinking about my family, and spend my time with my family thinking about work. Just stupid! I would be a lot better at both if I would be present, like you were saying. Great post, spot on.
Caleb, guilty! Man I do the same thing. Great thoughts!
hmm this is very interesting because I am still letting your post about putting your spouse first sink in. It’s ironic because it’s like you were speaking directly to me. My hubby was just recently expressing his feelings with me that sometimes he feels like I’d rather be doing other things than just being with him. Like if we are watching tv, I will also be reading or playing on my Nook while watching tv together. My argument was I can do two things at once but I realize that all that argument does it put myself first…if it makes my hubby feel good that I am giving all my attention to him and what we are doing together, then I should do it. It seems like such a little thing and yet I need to respect that the little things often add to big things when you are talking about a person’s feelings. Thanks for helping me see that in your posts this week!
My pleasure Kelly. But I’m also speaking directly to myself. I’m so guilty of the exact thing that you talked about.
I do the same thing. It’s hard to always “be present” when I’m with the kids all day. I know it’s so important for them though!
Sounds pretty normal to me. My babies used to do this too – they are easily distracted, like some people are – doesn’t mean anything. But I do struggle to be in the moment and enjoy life now. It seems I’m always remembering the past or looking forward to an event in the future instead of remembering to enjoy TODAY! So I’m trying to be present much more in my daily routine 🙂
Six months…you look down at your phone…then you look back up….and BAM!!! 6 years old….time flys…
Be Present…
Arny, I’m afraid of that. I just hope that I can remember to be present and not let that time fly past me.
Struggle with giving presents? Absolutely, sometimes husbands have a really hard time knowing what to buy a spouse, I knew a guy that bought his wife a remote control helicopter for Christmas, he’ll never live that down. 🙂
Night before last I came home, changed out of my uniform, eat supper, and sat down in front of the TV. Trenton was on the couch crawling all over me, laughing, and playing. Taken back at the attention he was trying to get from me at 1, i realized, TV had to go off, and it was Trenton and Daddy time. Later that night Rebecca said that impressed her, double whammy! So, from now on the TV dosen’t come on until babys in BED!
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