I pulled my car over to the side of the road to see if I could do anything to help. The look of shock covered every one’s faces. In the middle of the road lay a lifeless motorcyclist. Seconds before I arrived he was hit by a car. The driver of the car didn’t know how to respond. She was pacing back and forth crippled by fear, shock, and guilt. Accidents happen, but sometimes accidents can be costly.
At some point all of us are going to cause an accident. It may not be a car accident, but there will come a time when we will hurt someone else with our actions. Like texting while driving, the cause of our accident maybe a stupid mistake that we could have prevented, but none the less it’s still an accident.
I had this thought a few months ago and it came back to me after I passed the motorcycle accident mentioned above. Where do we go when we’ve caused an accident? This thought was originally inspired by a verse I read in the Bible. At one point in history God gave His people a list of rules to follow. One of the things that He mentioned was that if a person accidentally kills someone else then they should flee to a safe zone. They needed to stay in that safe zone for a certain amount of time before they could return home. I think we need some safe zones after the accidents we cause.
What if we had a safe place to retreat after we messed up? What if we had a safe place where we could go think about our actions and the consequences? Having this place wouldn’t take away the hurt and pain we may have caused but it would hopefully give us a chance to not make any more stupid mistakes for a while. We need some safe zones after we’ve hurt our loved ones. We need some time to let them heal. We need some time to change and come back a better person.
I don’t have any great answers on what a good safe zone should look like. For me it happens everyday for 15 minutes. Each morning my time with God is my little safe zone. It’s a place where I can reflect on the mistakes I’ve made, hopefully change, and then leave a better person. It’s safe because I go there to confess my mistakes and I feel the burden of guilt lifted off. I know I won’t be judged there. I know I’ll find forgiveness there. I also know that’s where I find the courage to talk to someone I’ve wronged and ask for their forgiveness.
The truth is accidents happen. The question is how will we respond when they do?
I have been aggravated many times by those who cause an accident or make a mistake and utter "Well, I'm only human" and then just walk away from the mess that they made. As for me, I try to own up to what I did and then I do my best to try to make it right. Of course, some accidents and mistakes take something so dear from others that there is nothing we can do to make it right. Then, I don't have a fat clue of what to do.
Interesting post after the weekend I had. A friend of my husband, according to the news, walked into traffic while intoxicated this past weekend. After trying to process it all and figure out how in the world to tell my husband this, I thought about a few things. First I starting thinking about where the victim would go. The bible considers suicide a sin (please correct me if I am wrong)so I assume Heaven will not be his final resting place. The thought of him going to Hell saddens me bc this guy was going through his own hell for sometime. I wondered if God would take that into consideration. Then I wondered if God would make an acception. I then considered all of people who needed to be prayed for. I included the victim, the family, including his small children. Then after awhile I realized the real victim maybe the person driving the car that we walked in front of. I cannot imagine what she went through and will probably go through for awhile, I am praying for the driver too! The funeral is tomorrow, its going to be awful. Funerals are always sad, but in cases like this, when the person was young and has young children, and they will be there at the funeral, ugh, I am not going to do well at all. I guess I should pray for me too. LOL! Sorry for the rant!
I am struggling with this post Rob and here is why.
I am trying to decide if this post is about accidents or more about a quite time, safe place, happy place.
Back in January, I wrecked my jeep while driving to WEC. Only one person knew I was headed over my future girlfriend (Amy **I digress – she is the only person who knew what a group of rhinos were at the 8PM and shouted it at Stu lol) whom I had met at WEC. It was raining and the first thing my friends asked was what was I texting (that made me sad) because I wasn't texting. I was turning off 64 on the Ft. Eustis exit 250B and well I was going too fast and it was wet …I oversteered to compensate and wound up with the jeep nose aimed down the ravine with my front bumper kissing a tree. I hurt no one, totaled my jeep and had one of the best days of my life.
My future girlfriend left WEC picked me up and we spent the day at Yorktown Waterfront. We attended the WEC 6PM service and I had a friend pick me up from Panera and take me home.
Ever since I saw "Kungfu Panda" (I know a cartoon right) I have been telling my boys .."there are no accidents" even if we dont see why right now there is a reason (this goes back to an older post of yours). Not focusing on the WHY …mistakes are made (some people call them accidents) – I prefer the term mistakes. A series of mistakes led to this "accident" which I call a wreck 🙂
As far as a safe zone, prayer is where its at, I do it when I jog, I do it before I fall asleep, I pray while I am waking up. For others it may be prison, penalty box, hospital bed, Alaska …the fact setting time aside for God is important and accidents for many people (even people not involved in the accident) are a reminder to slow down.
Even though an accident is an unintended outcome, it often leaves many helpless victims who face the natural consequences of actions that were not deliberate. It takes time to deal with such consequences. We can grow and become stronger, only if we find a safe enough place to deal with accidents effectively. Time with God provides that kind of uncondemning shelter.
Nicole, I'm sorry to hear about your husbands friend. What causes someone to go to heaven or hell is not how they died. According to the Bible it's based on if they have faith in Jesus, God's son. The great thing about this is if he was a Christian we don't get to go to Heaven because we are good. We go because of Jesus. I hope that helps. I don't know if your husbands friend was a Christ Follower but I don't think that the way he died would cause him to miss out on Heaven. It comes down to if he had a relationship with Jesus while he was alive.
Shamner, the point of the post is that when a car wrecks it's called an accident. It doesn't matter how it happened that's how we refer to it. In life we cause accidents. Call it mistakes we've made either intentional or unintentional. We all make them. Sometimes those mistakes hurt others. When it does I think it would be great to have a safe place to go. For me that's my personal time with God. It's a way for me to escape from the world and reflect on my actions.
This is a really good post. Thanks for writing it! Good stuff to think about.
Thanks Rob for the clarification. This gives me alot of comfort! I am not sure why I thought that suicide was a sin? Catholics maybe? You know I am new at all this stuff, so bare with me! Thanks again Rob, your response brought me much needed comfort!
Nicole, it was my pleasure. I think that idea does come from Catholic tradition.
Our safe place should be right square in the arms of God. It is the only truly safe place that there is. This is a very thought provoking post, Rob. We all struggle with things we have done by "accident."