There is not a lot of good television during the summer. Because of the lack of quality programming I’ve DVR’d a few shows that normally wouldn’t not get my time. I found out the MC Hammer has a reality TV show. I also started watching “I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here!”
One of the celebs on the show is John Salley. I’ve followed John’s career for years. He was a part of the “Bad Boys” of basketball, the Detroit Pistons. He also had a cameo in both the “Bad Boys” movies. He won four championship rings with three different teams (two with Detroit, one with Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls, and one with Shaq and Kobe in LA). He is also one of the hosts of The Best Da#n Sports Show Period. I went to a live taping of this show in LA. It’s highly entertaining.
Anyway, last week on I’m a Celebrity… John mentioned that he doesn’t have any friends. He then mentioned how he now has (I think) six new friends because of the show. It made me sad. Here’s a guy who has accomplished a lot. He may not be an “A list” celebrity but he is known by lots of people. How can he claim he doesn’t have many or any friends?
I think that his statement is shared by most people. It’s easy to have a lot of people know who you are but to not really be known by anyone. It’s easy to have a bazillion friends on Facebook and feel friendless. It’s easy to be surrounded by people and feel like you are all alone. I sometimes find myself sharing John Salley’s statement. How about you?
I think the key is to be a friend. If you want great friends you have to be a great friend. If you want to truly be known and know other people you have to invest in people’s lives. It’s not easy but it’s worth it. In my opinion it’s better to be a nobody that has deep friendships then a celebrity that is lonely.
Good thoughts. I am someone who can count his friends on one hand, and still do this even if most of the digits were not actually attached. I am lonely but have a hard time opening up to others and being a friend myself. It must be some kind of mental sickness, I don't know. Wow, this is all kind of depressing and embarrassing. It's a good thing this is an anonymous post and nobody could ever figure out my true identity.
great wisdom here Rob. We can find ourselves embriloiled in crowded loneliness. Lots of people around but no one to really talk to when you need it.
One comment from a professor in a counseling grad class has stuck with me for life–"The key to good mental health is to have at least one significant person who is a friend with whom you can reveal yourself."
Daniel, You have a great way at finding humor in serious stuff.
I think that the more you trust people to know the real you the more friends you will have. Have you read Samson and the Pirate Monks? I'm reading it now and it's very good. It talks about being the real you.
Brian, thanks.
Mim, great quote. I've never heard that but I agree.
I like this subject… I just read a book that this whole conversation reminds me of, "Telling Secrets" by Fredreck Buchner… It is such an interesting thing because to enter into relationship and "reveal yourself" is a vulnerable thing and it seems our culture (or maybe it is our age) either way we seem to move to MORE friendships with less deep friends… So, yes I have felt that way but work hard to change it 🙂