When Rob asked me to be a guest blogger for this series called “Why I…” I knew immediately what I needed to blog about. “Why I . . . tinkle sitting down at my home- especially at night.” I feel like I have even more reasons than these- I feel very strongly about this. I feel so strongly about this that I have made it a requirement of my wife that she only tinkle in the sitting position at home. I feel like I am not the only man who shares the same conviction about this. Where are the closet- toilet-tinkle sitters?
10 Reasons Why I… tinkle sitting down at my own home- especially at night.
1. It doesn’t make me any less of a man.
2. Not a guessing game where the toilet is in the middle of the night when i can’t see.
2. Able to catch some extra, well-needed rest in the middle of the night.
3. Cleaner. Home toilets are normally much cleaner- wooing all of us to have a seat.
4. More comfortable.
5. I’m usually not in a hurry at home.
6. It’s much easier and safer to read while in the sitting position.
7. I am always much more prepared if a surprise rumbly becomes much more than that.
8. I have had some bad experiences when standing up to tinkle.
9. I still have the ability to ward off any burglars or violent assailants when facing them as opposed to turning my back on them.
Why I… call it “tinkle”:
1. Because I am a Christian.
Why I… use two number 2’s sometimes:
1. Because it’s a free country and I can- it’s not a subliminal message about doodie.
Why I… call it “doodie”:
1. Because it’s kinda funny AND I have a little boy now AND it’s not because I thought the “Friends” episode was funny where Chandler blew a job interview because of smirking at the use of the word “duty.”
Hopefully after this blog we will see a sudden shift in the popularity of toilet-sitting-tinkling.
Note from Rob: Kyle is a good friend from seminary, pastor, and fellow blogger. Check him out here.
oh my gosh, I loved this blog. I too sit when I tinkle, but this is the norm. As a child I tried standing once (or twice) and it just isn’t as neat. 🙂
Interesting. I always pee in the sitting position at houses, mine or others. I’m not ashamed. It eliminates the possibility of a misfire. Hence, I never have to clean up my own urine. Which is gross.
In addition, I obviously never leave the seat up due to the fact that I sit. Which is a horrible habit that 75% of the male population seems to have.
lol. amazingly random, yet insightful.
One time I misfired onto a guy’s boot in a public restroom. It was kind of awkward. I apologized and then he moved his foot further away from the danger zone. The sitting position would have ruled out the potential for that catastrophe. But alas- it was in a nasty public restroom and I wasn’t about to take a seat. My conclusion: I’d rather pee on someone’s boot than place my back-end on a nasty toilet seat. Unfortunately, that cowboy fell victim to both.
My 3 year old daughter saw her 4 year old cousin using the potty in the standing position and she REALLY wanted to give it a try. Poor girl, she just could not quite figure it out. So I said, “Honey, boys pee standing up and girls pee sitting down.” And she smiled and said, “Oh, Boys do it… chicka chicka chicka… OLD SCHOOL!” HAHA! Whatever that means, but it made me laugh!