Dear Blown Away,
This week you left a comment on my blog and I wanted to say thank you. Just in case you forgot let me post it below…
“I hardly ever read your blog any more because I find it quite disturbing, so I really don’t know what made me read it today. I was with you until #30. Seriously? From what I see you are 2 of the most selfish people I’ve ever come across in my life! The fact that you consider yourselves and each other to be selfless just blows me away because I know neither of you are stupid or uneducated! I really just thought you chose to be so selfish and were doing it on purpose because it’s so blatant and obvious, but when you publicly proclaim each other as selfless on your blog for the world to see, I don’t quite know how to take that. I guess it just makes me feel sorry for you that you can’t see it and you don’t have anyone in your lives who love you enough to tell you that you come across that way so you can correct it.”
Like I said I want to thank you. Now, don’t get me wrong. What you said was evil and mean and straight from the pits of Hell. I’m not thanking you because what you did was right. I’m thanking you because you tested me.
Three years ago I couldn’t have handled your comment. I’m a certified people-pleaser. Three years ago your comment would have consumed me. What happened three years ago that changed me?
I heard God whisper, “even if you were perfect somebody would crucify you.” That phrase is something that I believe. It’s something that I preach. I’m not defined by people’s opinions. I’m defined by Jesus. He loves me despite my selfishness and patiently works on me to make me better.
After reading your comment some people told me that I should punch you in the throat. Other people told me that I should be mad. I mean after all you tried to sabotage a post celebrating my wife, and you attacked both of us. I don’t know if you care or not, but I’m not mad at you. In fact I’d like to hug you. I feel like you might need a hug. Or maybe a tickle fight? I’m kidding about the tickle fight. It’s a little joke I have. It’s funny to think about two adults having a tickle fight.
I smiled after I read your comment because it didn’t bother me. I’m not perfect, but I’ve come a long way with my people pleasing disease.
I know you probably will never admit to writing the comment. You wrote it anonymously and the email address that you registered doesn’t work. I tried to email you at 1234@aol.com. I thought it was a bogus email by the fact that it said aol. Who uses that anymore? The only thing that would have given it away more is if it was from Juno. Are you still on Myspace? I digress…
Anyway I just wanted to say that if you do visit my blog again on this day please know that I’m praying for you. I prayed for you multiple times throughout the day. I’m not praying that you will learn to like me. I’m praying that you will forgive me if I’ve wronged you, and that you will become an encourager instead of a discourager. But even if you never change I still thank you. Thank you for showing me that I’m not as consumed with people’s opinions as I once was.
Thanks again,
robshep.com
Rob—man, you caught me, you selfish devil you. I thought I did a good job disguising my identity. Now you’ve outed me. I hope everyone else will take it easy in me in the comments. The reason I wrote that is because I am so superior at being selfless thancyou guys. It’s my job to point out what I perceive as your faults anonomoisly in a public forum. Plus, I just don’t like zombies. Sparkling vampires rule.
Sheesh …… some people.
Larry, you had with the sparkling vampires rule. Funny stuff. So does that mean you are going to the midnight showing of the new Twilight film tonight?
Larry, OMGosh, I was about to blast “that d*ck” that said that crooked crap to Rob! I couldn’t believe it, I was really getting mad!
I honestly respect you, Rob, for being calm and cool about that post (calm and cool, all I could think of). Just know that you have some “real” friends that would love to rip a throat out, probably best to take the higher road though. *dangit
Thanks Ryan! I know you’ve got my back and I suspect that you could do some damage. Hopefully neither of us will have to fight this week.
Well done, Rob.
Thanks Ricky! And thanks again for your comment on that post. You saw it before I did. I love having you as a part of this blog.
Wow ! Rob this was a great blog ! I agree with everything you have said. I’m so glad it didn’t bother you what blown away said. It sure disturbed me for the past 2 days. I kept hearing the Lord just say to me pray for that person! It wasn’t an easy thing to do, but I had been praying for them all day yesterday. You have behaved and reacted just like the Lord would want us all to behave and react. Thank you for being obedient to HIM and being a great example to the 509 people who read this blog !!! Like I told you a couple blogs ago this is a great thing that God is using to speak to and encourage all, well most people that read it 🙂
Stacy, thanks! I praise God that you were led to pray for them as well. I’d love to see this person find forgiveness for me and joy.
I did not have a chance to read the persons comment but was told about it. I planned to read and comment on that when I was in a better frame of mind because you see, I’m not quite at the level you are Rob and it aggravated me that some spineless person would say such false things. I strive to be that calm one day. For the record, I have said it many times but I feel the same about Monica as I did more than two years ago. She is an amazing teacher, person and example of what a selfless Christian person should be. Thank you Rob for not being as much a people pleaser a you were and for giving so many an example to strive for.
Bernadette, you are such a great encourager to Monica and me. Thank you for always being positive and encouraging.
WOW! First of all, kudos to you for responding to that comment so publicly, but still with such poise. Not sure I could have done that (mostly because I’m still a few years back like you were with people’s opinions and their affect on me). And second of all, huge kudos for praying for this person. I wrote a similar blog about this a few weeks ago, so I definitely understand that path of action 🙂
Danielle, thanks. Your blog is good stuff. Keep up the good work!
I missed the comment that your are alluding to, so I went back and found it. Hmmm, kind of disturbing to make such a negative comment within the confines of a man’s love letter to his bride. As least wait until he comes to a “Mind Dump” post or something. Actually you handled this like the gentle soul I think you are. Blessings.
Daniel, for real. I’d expect it on a Mind Dump post. Thanks for being a part of this blog. I look forward to your comments every day.
Although I completely disagree with their method, I am thankful for their comment too! I am so selfish by nature & it led me to be so much more conscious of others yesterday through my prayers, thoughts, & actions. Rob, this blog was funny too. That myspace line made me giggle. Love you!
Thanks Mon! I love you!
Totally missed this comment so I had to go back and see it. I agree with everyone else, why the smack down on the love letter? I’m pretty keen to selfishness and I’m just not getting that vibe from you. Passionate – yes, outspoken – yes, honest – yes. Is everyone comfortable with those qualities, I’m thinking not so much. Sounds to me like you hit a chord with this person and their guitar was outta tune.
Love this and totally agree
AngK, I like that. The guitar was outta tune, was a great line.
Great response to a mean spirited comment Rob.
Thanks Joe. And thanks for the shout on your blog!
Oh wow Rob…hey look on the bright side…now you can go and comment on my post from yesterday and add to your Clay Aiken story! LOL…
Nice example of overcoming evil with good….
and those lumps of coal should be piping hot right now on you know who’s head…
God Bless!
Arny, for reals. How crazy is that? You post on it and then it happens. Weird I say.
Way to take the high road, Rob. You just publicly gave that person the “what for” and did it in a constructive and kind way. I used to have a boss that could fire a person and that person would walk away with their self esteem intact. I feel like you accomplished that feat with your rebuttal. I, too, will pray for that poor soul, because it is sad to be that bitter and mean-spirited.
Thanks Teeny! I always appreciate your kind words! I love that you are praying for them as well.
What an awesome way to address what was said. I was secretly hoping you would address it, and you did with grace and for sure in a way that pleased God! I feel like I learned a lot just from being on the sidelines, and I’m sure I’m not the only one who walked away after reading this blog feeling proud to call you a strong leader and pastor!
Ahh…thanks Leah! That comment really made my day.
Rob, your selflessness is why so many read your blog. I’m not a big reader, if you will, and generally steer away from things like blogs because they are usually loaded with personal opinions on objective matters. But, you write and present your story and “lesson” in a manner that is narrative and not opinion driven. I am very thankful for this blog and it is my daily spiritual “cup of coffee”. The bonus is, that I know you and know that you are a man of character and conviction, which also makes this blog so digestable, because it’s coming from a source that lives what is being shared and taught. You are selfless, humble and a great husband. I am proud and more inspired by your blog today than most in the past because it is more proof of your conviction. The unfortunate part of the internet is that it gives ignorance an ananomous outlet to flex their keyboard courage. Your resolve is encouraging… Attack me, eh, whatever… Spew venom about my wife… I would be Neo style though the Matrix trying to find the coward.
I’m so going to use the keyboard courage term. I agree with all you said. Its awesome and inspiring to read how these two amazing people care for each other.
Scott, I praise God that you are at WEC. You are such an encourager! Thank you for your comment. The Neo line was awesome!
“The unfortunate part of the internet is that it gives ignorance an ananomous outlet to flex their keyboard courage.” – Amen! It’s a shame, and I hate that this is true, especially in this particular case of cowardice.
Hey Rob!
I personally really enjoy reading your blog and Oleg and I have taken SO much away from your marriage counseling and wouldn’t even begin to think of you as a selfless person. We both look at you and your marriage with Monica as an example, a Christ like example, and strive to be like that. God Bless!
Meara and Oleg
Thanks Meara! I’m so glad that I go to do your premarital counseling! I hope things are going great for you guys. Glad to hear that you are jumping into the Facilitator roll for your group.
“Even if you were perfect someone would crucify you”
I needed to hear that today! Thanks!
Samantha, thank you for reading and commenting. That line really has changed my life. Jesus was perfect and people got upset with Him all the time. I’m not perfect so it’s no surprise that not everyone will like me. Thanks again for your comment.
I would love to see you tickle fighting him. Then after that you can punch him in the throat… you know, in the name of Jesus! 🙂
Good for you Rob. You are the better man!
Thanks Moe. I joke about the tickle fight often. My friend actually tried it the other day and it was awkward. He was joking of course but it’s a really funny thing to see.
I loved how gently and openly you handled this post. Well Done Rob. It was clearly a love letter to your precious wife…
In this world of divorce, its beyond refreshing. Its life-giving.
I am incredibly selfish. I struggle daily to lay it down & put others needs ahead of my own. There is, like most things, a balance to be found. I think you & Monica have found that balance.
As far as Blown Away ~ I mean this with all kindness…
Some times, the things that irritate us the most in others, are the very thing we struggle with the most in ourselves…
marriage, selfishness, love? I don’t know…its just something to consider. The stronger the reaction the more accurately a nerve has been hit…
Thanks Amber! I really appreciate your comment. I am incredibly selfish as well. I’m a work in progress. My does a great job of helping me put other people first.
Wow! Good/encouraging reaction for other bloggers out there 😉
Thanks Sean! How are things going for you guys? Have you found a new church to plug into?
Things are going great Rob, thanks for asking! We’re plugged into a smaller church in Norfolk and God is exploding in it…Hope all is well for you, Monica, and the twins! 🙂 (P.S Me and Jen read/enjoy your blog regularly)
Thanks Sean! I appreciate that you guys read! I’m glad that you found a church on that side of the H20. Take care friend.
Well Done Rob. I just started following your blog, Well Done.
Jim, so glad to have you at the blog. Thanks for following and for leaving a comment. The comments are my favorite part of having a blog. People are awesome in the comments. Thanks again.
Good example of how to handle criticism.
Thanks Mim!
First thing is first, it is 9:59, and already over 40 comments. I hope this shows just how much we all care and support all that you and Monica do for all of us, and what you mean to us.
Now about the comment. I chose to ignore it with my comment yesterday. Yesterday wasn’t about any of us or our opinions, it was about Monica. I am glad for the most part it stayed that way. Now, today! I would be lying if I did not say I wanted to rip into them. But, honestly, what good would that have done, I mean they didn’t even post with a name. If “they” do feel so strongly that you are this wicked witch from the west, seems like they would have had a little more gall. I digress also.
Look, you have inspired me beyond measure. Out of everyone on this blog, I more than likely know the least about you and your family. Here is what I do know. 1) You conducted me and my wife’s baptism. 2) We love when you preach, with such emotion. 3) You have always been kind enough to respond to my comments, to speak to me at WEC, and to sign a document that has become a huge part of my life. 4) Inspired me to start my own blog, which is helping me get random thoughts off my mind and chest. 5) Your wicked awesome, and this list could I am sure go on an on. But hey this isn’t my blog so I will cut this short. I appreciate you, and look forward to getting to know you more. My family thanks God for people like you that He continues to put in our lives.
Joseph, I’m glad that you jumped into the blog world. The biggest thing to remember is…to…blog. If you blog people will come. It may take a while but if you are consistent people will follow. I liked what I saw so far. Keep up the blogging. Let me know if you want to talk blogs. I’m not an expert but I’ve learned a lot in 3 years.
Thanks. Actually I could use a lot of help. I can’t figure out how to reply to comments! Yeah, I know novice right?
Let’s talk. Will you be at church this Sunday? If not then maybe next week you could come by the office.
Yep! I will be there at the listed times below..lol
7:50 A.M.-9:45 A.M.
11:10- Until completion of awesome experience.
Next week is pretty slow on my end, so if you would like to set something up then you can just hit my yahoo email.
I just don’t understand people who go out of their way to be nasty. It takes so much energy. As a teacher, it took me a couple years to learn to grow that thick skin. Sixth grade parents can be brutal! At the end of the day, I just have to remind myself that being angry at them is just what they want. It only affects me, not them.
I actually use a juno email….
Michael, my bad Michael. Just trying to be funny. Do you really use Juno? That’s cool. I honestly didn’t know it was still around. I used it back in the dial up days.
Well said Rob! I must say it is easy for me to take offense for others, and when I read the comment the other day, I was greatly offended for you and Monica! I didn’t want to leave a comment then, for I was afraid of what my angry fingers would type! 🙂 I do, however, find myself feeling sad for Blown Away & wondering what circumstances that Blown Away has faced in his/her life that would prompt such a negative response to a blog about how much you love & appreciate Monica!?! I’m reminded of the statement that “Hurting people (attempt to) hurt people”!! I pray Blown Away knows the love of God more today than yesterday…
Lisa, well said. Hurt people hurt people was one of my first thoughts when I read their email. Then I started wondering who in the world it was. I’ll probably never know that answer.
Uh, I only know you from the other side of the world through blogging, but you do not come across as selfish to me, only last week you asked people for prayer requests and replied to them.
Must admit though I rarely read a post where people gush about how in love they are! But that does not make you selfish. Blessings to you and your wife Monica x
Thanks T.C.! I love that you are from England! Love it. It’s amazing to me what the internet can do. Thank you for commenting and reading…even though I go gushy sometimes.
Yeah, I would have crawled into a corner. I’m a people pleaser also. Well done with the response.
Thanks Dustin! Have you ever been hated on with your blog? I’ve met some others who say they get it often. Besides one really upset Claymate (Clay Aiken fan) I’ve never had some rant like this.
Rob – Just Tuesday our CG looked at James 3:1-12 (Taming your tongue). It’s one of those lessons that I think we could all re-read frequently. The company I work for builds nuclear aircraft carriers. They when in excess of 90K tons, yet when I look at the rudder on those ships it’s hard to believe that such a small part of that ship has such a big influence on where it goes. I think they same is true with our tongues. It’s a small part of our body, yet has a huge influence on where we go spiritually, mentally and even physically.
You are so correct in that we are all a work in progress. In my life I try to look for improvement relative to a point in time. Right now, at 2:41 P.M on November 17, 2011 I feel like I am a better Christ Follower, husband and father that I was a year ago. It is my goal to be able to say the same think next year on November 17, 2012.
P.S. How do I get signed up on your blog so I can add a profile pic?
Doug, thanks for the comment! I agree. I LOVE James. It’s so practical and straight to the point. It was the first book of the Bible that I ever read all the way through. Love it.
The way that you get your picture is through Gravatar. You can sign up here…http://en.gravatar.com/.
Rob,
Seriously….well said! I am inspired by your response to this blogger’s views.
Thanks~
Jenna
Jenna, you are always so joyful! Thank you for your comment. Thank you for continually smiling. Than you!
WOW!! Rob, I am a people pleaser too and have let it get the best of me. I am afraid it is rubbing off on my daughter 🙂 Trying to keep in mind more these days that no matter what you do some one will always find fault. What has happened though is that I am finding it harder and harder to share. Funny even writing a comment here I question over and over if I should or not and then I proof read about 20 times to make sure I didn’t say something I shouldn’t have or misspell something 🙂 I try to remind myself that yes, I should write something because comments good or bad help the person know that people are reading what they wrote and you want that. I agree with what every one has said about Blown Away needing our prayers and one thing that has helped me so much is really stopping and asking God (some times out loud) to give me eyes to see them like He does, I even need this for family members. I appreciate your leadership and the marriage you and Monica have it shows that you live what you believe and I am thankful for that!
Thanks Kim! I do love comments and I appreciate you leaving one. The funny thing is that I stink with grammar. There is a great chance that even if you did make a mistake I wouldn’t notice. Thanks again for the comment!
I totally missed it too! Good grief – what do we have if we can’t be sport for angry people, right? Your blog is humorous and full of great inspiration! I sure hope you are able to rise above anything negative – we seem to live in a world FULL of it!
Cindy, I am. Thankfully this is one of the only negative comments I’ve received. Most people on my blog are like you and are incredibly kind.
Yeah, I had to go check it out too, as I have not read your blog yet this week (sorry!) First of all, I only see where you put that Monica is selfless, I don’t see where you said you were selfless, and I don’t think you’d ever say that about yourself, even if you thought it were true. I’ve heard some say that people tend to point out flaws in others that they don’t like about themselves. Maybe that is the case here? I can see where that is true sometimes, even in myself. There’s someone I know who has always irritated the poo out of me, and I’m big enough to say it all started initially because in some ways I was the same (selfish). No, you don’t know them incase you were wondering 🙂
And if BA has a problem with you, they should have maybe just e-mailed you directly rather than post his comment for all to see on your blog. I’ve blasted someone before, but not anonymously or in a public forum. Not one of my finer moments, and I’m not proud of it. So, I can’t fault BA for having a problem with you, but it should have been handled better on their part.
Faith, agreed. The internet makes it easier to tell people how you feel. You can be anonymous so that you don’t have to deal with it.
I usually read your blog before work and then let it percolate in my brain until my reactions and musing congeal into a coherent thought. This typically happens early afternoon. Today, at nearly the end of my work day, the only thing that my brain has been able to process is simply, “Wow!”
Wow! You handled this situation with grace. Wow! You addressed your detractor with such compassion. Wow! You inspire me. Wow! You are an amazing individual and it is my pleasure to know you.
Wow!
Randal, wow! Thank you for your comment! Seriously! I love having you as a part of this blog. Your comments are always so well thought out. Thanks!
as a new reader of your blog I wondered how you handled inappropriate comments as I was sure you had to receive them on occasion. i thought you probably just deleted them and moved on with your life. anyway, you handled it well.
love your blog!
Thanks Stevie G. I was asked why I didn’t just delete it. I can’t promise that I’ll never delete a comment but I feel like it’s part of being transparent. I also really do believe that this tested me. I’m thankful that I’ve come a long way in this one area.
Rob,
You are a stand up guy. I read your post on Monica’s birthday. I think this dude is jealous. I could have never thought of all those wonderful things to say about my wife…although I should be able to. You are a positive role model for men, husbands and fathers. Keep up the great work.
Joe, thanks! It’s interesting to me how some people think it’s a guy and others think it’s a girl. Most people think it’s a guy but my wife and I both thought that BA was a girl. Interesting. Thanks for your comment. You are always a great encourager.
This is a great message. I think we can all learn from, not “blown away” but how you dealt with him/her. I also like your reference to “the Perfect Person”. I’ve made that ref myself. Thanks.
Scott, thanks! Are you playing at WEC this weekend?
I’m not sure what to think- I still use my Juno email account….
Sorry Tyler. It was just a little joke. Are you still on Myspace?
This people-pleaser is very much impressed and inspired by your response. =)
Oh, and, ummmm…I still have and use my AOL email account. But I will follow in your footsteps and not take offense at your comment. I may even pray for you, too. =)
Always good stuff here! Thanks!
Thanks for the prayers TJ! Funny comment!
Don’t you just LOVE anonymous commenters? I nearly quit reading them (and almost banned them) from my site because some of them spew their hate and don’t have the guts to provide their name.
–@terracecrawford