I’ve noticed how easy it is for people to tear other people down. Whenever I hang out with people someone’s name will come up and someone will have something negative to say about them. They normally say something like, “I love _____ to death, but they are kind of a prick.” It’s like if they say they love a person to death it’s okay to tear them down.
I once heard a pastor say, “If you think something nice about a person then say it.” I’ve tried to live my life that way. It’s easy to tear down. The problem with negative words is that they are like a cancer. Negativity breads negativity. When you say something negative about a person it plants a seed in someone’s mind. That person then takes that negative thought and potentially allows it to form their opinion about that person. We tear down someone and don’t think twice about the damage that we do.
On the other hand we do think twice about saying nice things. We think things like “if I say that nice thing then maybe their head will get big.” Do what?! We think twice about saying nice things and then don’t hesitate to tear someone else down. That shouldn’t be! We are not responsible for what people do with our words. We are responsible for speaking the truth in love.
Encourage one person today. What is one nice thing that you have thought but haven’t said?
It is so easy to say negative things. We definitely need to make the effort to be positive.
Larry, I agree. By the way I’m really glad that we’ve become internet friends. I enjoy reading your blog.
I think you’re a great guy Roberto, glad we are friends.
Ryan, I love being a friend to you! You are the man!
I’m definitely guilty of this (and I think a lot of people probably are). I have a hard time saying nice things to people who have irritated or hurt me previously. I might really want to tell them I like their new hairstyle or outfit or something like that, but I’ll think twice about it…wondering if I should really be nice to someone who hasn’t exactly been super nice to me. I’m working on it though! 🙂
Danielle, I hear ya! It’s not easy. I believe that you can do it. You are pretty awesome!
i LOVE doing this!! One thing I like to do is compliment strangers. Like, in the grocery line, I’ll tell someone I like their shirt or something. It totally throws them off and makes them smile!! Of course, they may be thinking “Thanks, crazy grocery store lady!”
But really, praise does WONDERS for the soul!!
Lindsey, you are bold! I love it! That would be really hard to do to strangers. I want to see that in action one day. Great stuff.
Great thought today preacherman! I will be sure to follow through on your challenge. I will strive to say something that could be perceived under appropriate conditions as nice to at least one person before the day is over. Blessings to you.
Thanks Daniel! Did you ever see my comment about going to get lunch?
Rob, I did and I replied there. However, I can reply here. I will have my people contact your people.
I feel part of my job is to boost student morale. A mentor of mine once said, “It’s alright to praise something in a beginning writer that wouldn’t bear mentioning to a more seasoned writer.”
The same might be applied to other areas of life.
Mim, good stuff. As an experienced writer (I have been writing for a long time…I didn’t say I was good) I still appreciate the encouragement.
I recently met a lady who was widowed about 10 years ago. She said after her husbands funeral she realised that all the lovely things people said about him, they hadn’t told him while he was alive! She decided then that she would always tell people the nice things she thought about them while she could.
My Grandmother always said…for her kids NOT to bring flowers to her funeral…
What for! she would say…i’m dead and i can’t smellum!…
Bring them for me now…while i’m alive. and can enjoy them…
T.C., how sad and true. I’ve said the same thing except it was about a move and not death. I announced I was leaving from a church and people came out of the woodwork to tell me how much I meant to them. While I was there I rarely heard that I was making a difference.
that Bloggin Rob guy is sooo cool!
I agree! =)
Ahh…thanks guys. I’m a words of affirmation kind of guy and my wife says that my other love language is comments on the blog. You both accomplished both of those. You guys rock!
Jon Acuff wrote once that we should “Share compliments and squash complaints.” It’s really stuck with me!
Samantha, I love Jon Acuff and I love what he said. Thanks for sharing that!
If we want to look at people’s faults we will always tear down. Hey, we all have them. That’s why it’s always good to see the good in people. We are to encourage one another. You know, that whole “whatever is praiseworthy” thing? Yeah… that! 🙂
Moe, word!
Thanks Rob – I needed this reminder of how negativity breeds negativity.
Terry, my pleasure. Thanks for the comment!
Hi Rob. I think the new(ish) blog layout makes your biceps look more impressive.
Clay, I couldn’t agree more! Smiles.
You know, I love robshep.com to death, but this post is a real prick.
…on my conscience.
Burrill, I really do love your comments! They are always funny and well thought out. Thanks for being a part of this blog!
Pastor Rob, you Rock!
Thanks Joseph! You are wicked awesome yourself.
When my grandfather’s health was deteriorating, I would visit him daily. He was always positive about life, despite the many issues plaguing him. I arrived one morning to find him slumped down in his wheelchair looking despondent. When I greeted him, he lamented about all his maladies: the loss of most of his sight, mobility, etc. He said, “A grandson shouldn’t see his grandpa like this.” I knelt at his feet to look at his downcast face and said, “Grandpa, when I look at you I see the same man who took me camping and hiking, the same man who taught me how to fish and play cards.” He took a deep breath and shook his head. Then, gripping the arm rest of the wheelchair, he pushed his body upright, squared his shoulders, held his head high, smiled at me and said, “Today’s going to be a good day.”
Your words have power. Your words can and will change a person’s day and perhaps their life. Choose them and use them with great care.
Randal, what a powerful story! I love it! Words have so much power! Thank you for sharing that!
This is so true. Many years ago one of our friends who was on staff with my husband, spoke on the subject of “The Love Bank” – I wrote an article about this a couple of years ago – and basically it is all about “deposits” and “withdrawals” that we make into another person’s bank. Sometimes to speak well of another person, feels to some like they are making a HUGE withdrawal in their OWN bank – therefore leaving them empty. Of course, that’s nonsense – but it is truly how some people feel – especially if they are very insecure. The fact is this: The more you GIVE – the more you RECEIVE 🙂
It’s crazy how that works Cindy. We think that the more we keep the more we will have, but it’s not true.
Good reminder. It’w always easier to destroy than to build. There’s too much of it in the world. We never know what a few kind words can do for someone when we tell them.
Billy, I know that I have benefited greatly by the rightly timed words.
Great post Rob and great motivation for me!!
Thanks Heather!
Okay, okay…., i will
Say it. I really enjoy your blog. I find you to be a less is more kind of blogger/guy. You tell it straight but dont seem to be hell bent on how many people you can attract as followers and how many hits you can get in a day. That turns me off, even when I enjoy the writer. It cheapens the purpose to me. I don’t feel that way when I read your stuff so, keep
It honest and humble and know I appreciate your writing:).
Thanks Dale! I really appreciate your kind words!
Thanks for the reminder, Rob. Sometimes I think we forget that we should always treat people how we would want to be treated.
Thanks Laura!
I’ve heard it said that we should give people flowers before they die. So–your picture on this blog is really inspiring. It’s like you are saying “Tally-Ho!”
I think he realized that Melissa had nothing to offer him.. She is to young, not educated, not stable… She was not for him in the very beginning.. and he learned the hard way…
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