So it’s official…I’m a dad. My twins were born last week and that means I don’t have time to blog. In my absence I asked some friends, acquaintances, and some people I don’t know to guest post. Today’s post is provided by the following: Ben Arment. Ben helps people launch great things. He’s the founder of Dream Year and STORY in Chicago. He wrote a book called Church in the Making. His lives with his wife Ainsley in Virginia Beach and they have 3 cowboys, Wyatt, Dylan and, Cody.
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As the father of three little boys, I’ve learned much of my fathering wisdom by trial and error. Rob, to save you the time and effort of learning how to do it, I’ve put together a list of the most essential truths of parenting:
1. By now, you should have realized that just because your wife wanted a milkshake while she was pregnant doesn’t mean you should have gotten one too. She’s been feeding an extra life form inside of her. I’m sorry to say you don’t have a similar excuse. Time to hit the gym.

2. Never engage in any activity that appears with great frequency on America’s Funniest Videos (whacking piñatas with large wooden sticks, jumping on trampolines or trying to hurdle over above-ground pools). Much of your antics with the child will be recorded on video. Avoid appearing on that show at all costs.

3. Keep a stack of diapers in the trunk of your car along with some magazines. When your wife suddenly shouts, “Rob, we’re out of diapers!” take this opportunity to park around the corner and enjoy some much-needed time of relaxation. These might be your only opportunities.

4. The baby will sleep soundly for several months. But your boss does not need to know this. Use this stage of life to hand off less than desired assignments and justify frequent trips to Starbucks during the workday. You only have about three months of empathy, so take advantage of it while it lasts.

5. Avoid lugging that big car seat around. Invest in a small pop-up stroller that accommodates the car seat and saves you years of back pain. Don’t try to be a hero.