I am gifted at seeing other people’s flaws. In fact I am pretty sure that I have a super mutant ability to see the faults of others. The problem is I am far too often blinded at seeing my own faults.
Two weeks ago I saw a grown adult throw a childish tantrum because I said no to them. After I kindly said no they pouted like something out of Toddlers and Tiaras. I then was attacked through email by a friend of theirs and finally disrespected on a phone conversation. When I got done one of my coworkers came over and gave me a hug. It was that bad.
Now I was able to not allow this to ruin my day because I chalked it up to them being spoiled and childish. It was easy for me to see their immature ways. And yet this week when I didn’t get my way I shut down. I pouted. I didn’t throw a tantrum, but I was acting childish. I didn’t see it in the moment, but after reflecting over my actions I was being a spoiled brat.
I try not to be judgemental, but that doesn’t stop me from seeing the flaws in others. Is that a contradiction? The bad parent at the grocery store, the Christ Follower who doesn’t hold my same convictions, and people who wear fanny bags receive my fault finding thoughts. I wish I could see my own flaws as easy as I see others. I think someone influential said something about looking at the plank in your own eye before you point out the speck in someone else’s.
Fat people, a street beggar looking for money, men who watch the Bachelor, Democrats/Republicans, people who think Moe’s is better than Chipotle, Celtics fans, people who wear Crocs, Christians/Atheists, people who have never seen Star Wars, blacks/whites/Hispanics etc., people with cats, homosexuals, ugly people, or someone else…who do you find yourself judging?
I can relate to this except I find myself being extremely judgemental towards myself. I often times wish I could take back stupid comments or decisions even if they're not that bad. I tend to judge Christians more than anyone, j easily get annoyed with some people and feel that I am justified in the moment, obviously I'm not.
I always appreciate your honesty about situations in your life . Being a mom with young children , I am always having to try not to judge the way other people raise their kids. I have a hard time not judging people who say they believe in Christ , but never act like they do . I also find myself easily judging family members who don't do things the way I do . I think the family thing is one of those things a lot of people judge, because we wonder how they come from the same blood line as us and do something so stupid . Thanks for the thought provoking blog !
I recently wrote on this same topic. My vision of other people's faults is 20/20, but I am completely myopic sometimes when it comes to my own. Thanks for sharing. I love your honesty and openness.
Tell it like it is, Rob. I always appreciate your honesty. We all do it, and we all shouldn't. It is that simple, yet, so profoundly difficult. If only people would just see it our way, it would be a better world. Alas, they all have free will, and possibly will never see the error of their ways.
Every time I sit through a sermon I can find someone to apply the lesson to. Rarely myself. I say I do not judge fat people but any time I see one I think about them being fat. Is that a form of judging? There are not many other things that I judge because I have been there and done that.
Dang bro. Awesome post. I hate (love) when you make me introspective.
I think a lot of this comes down to: How much difference will it make a year from now?, 5 years from now?, 10 years from now? Pointing out others flaws is, in my opinion, being human. Whether it is others decision, career, lifestyle – they will face the Creator one day and He does not forget what they did only through the grace of Christ are we spared judgement by God. I think everyone is hyper critical about somethings and some people are worse then others. I had a friend tell me all the time after saying a really horrible comment about someone "Guess I am going to hell for that" and in my mind I was thinking ….yes yes you are …but you know what I would be going too if it weren't for Christ ….do I remember the comment no it was forever ago. Christ was perfect and He still was able to shoot hoops with sinners, deal with church elders with ease. I think you can see your own faults because that is what makes us sinners …it is what drives us to ask for forgiveness. Sin is the result of our flaws does that help? Now I feel like I judged you for being honest …so I am going to ask for forgiveness now 🙁
Thanks for the great post Rob.
MYSELF!
Anyone who is not like me. Sometimes it's easy not to judge, but sometimes it's hard. I have to remember some times that one little thing isn't going to change the course of history and therefore, to keep my trap shut! 🙂
Nix everything I said before. I have a REALLY hard time with judging people with credit cards and use credit all the time to buy things. So if you do that, don't tell me. It's hard not to judge you.
How terrible does that sound? I really struggle with this.
Interestingly enough I have no problem pointing out or recognizing my own faults and what I can be judgmental about is other people who can't see their own faults. I know people who do not have an ounce of humility or depth and truly can not see this in themselves…which leads me to try and be careful that my judgment doesn't lead to me feeling superior to them…it's a vicious cycle lol
It is really vicious. Thanks for the comment Kellyd.
Susan, nixed.
Jill, I hear ya.
Awesomesteve, thanks for a great comment and you are welcome.
Melissa, thanks for the comment. I figure if I have to go through it someone else might as well go with me.
Kris, thanks for the comment and thanks for being honest. It is so hard not to judge!
Meema92, thanks. You are right on about your last point.
Thanks Daniel!
I think having the thoughts (judgements) is out of our control – but what we do with them is what matters. If we dwell on them, or actually TREAT the person different, or gossip to someone about it, then I think thats the issue. If we dont allow that person the opportunity to show us different than how our mind sees them then we are really limiting what God can do with us. Also, I would agree with the people below, I am very quick to judge myself unfortunately…and it sticks 🙁
Stacey, thanks for the comment. I appreciate it.
Ghaudy, I hear ya.
Tracy, thanks for the comment. You bring up a great point.
I judge clothes and shoes a lot. I also judge other people's parenting, even though I'm not one. I struggle huge with judging.
Nosey people–those who just have to know everything. I judge them–and know that I shouldn't.