In a recent survey Tyler Tarver was unanimously voted the funniest blogger in the entire world wide web. The survey was in my mind but that still should count for something. If you don’t read his blog then you should apologize to your eyes for neglecting them. He recently wrote a book and today he is using my blog to pimp it. Is that offensive? I hope not. The point is that Tyler is funny and he’s written a book. Enjoy.
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When Rob first mentioned I should write about what the title says, I was so happy cause I love things that are just below 25. I’m also a fan of oscillating. GET IT? Sorry for yelling, someone was holding a knife but then I noticed they were just eating a steak.
- It has never cussed you out more than once.
- It let you cheat off of it in Geometry.
- It mentions the word Chapstick less than 12 times but more than 30 times.
- The title was once uttered by Lisa Turtle on episode 307 of Saved by the Bell.
- My wife won’t.
- It’s like Neosporin for your hair.
- 6 out of 5 Doctors recommend it with Trident.
- It talks about the connections between Harry Potter and Jesus.
- It talks about your mom.
- It’s complimentary like peanuts on an airplane flight.
- It’s less scary than Princess Diaries 2.
- One page has a swipe of Axe Phoenix deodorant for your viewing pleasure.
- Because I’m in love with you.
- If it were a person, it would be wearing a modestly cut V-neck.
- It’s not racist except for against Muggles.
- It doubles as a Flash Drive with no more space to put files.
- It has over 299 pages, so after you read 270 pages, there are still more.
- You can purchase refillable ink for it at your local Target.
- It put Movie Gallery out of business.
- I need the money so I can eat this week.
- You can hollow it out to hide your rock pic so you can break out of Shawshank Prison.
- It costs less than 3 Starbucks Venti Frappuccinos and lasts half the time.
- Because I think very highly of Rob like Snoop Dogg.
- Everyone else is doing it, or not doing it.
- 2( 7 – 4 ) – 7 + 1.5
Thanks Rob, you are nicer to me than anyone in the whole word like an astronaut.
Click here if you’d like to purchase Tyler’s masterpiece.
This was a great list. However Mr. Tarver’s book is on the banned list at my school. I would love to read it, but sorry, my hands are tied.
Daniel, I could see you being a rebel and reading it anyway. Or at least putting it near your toilet to give you something to look at.
O.K., I will add this to my reading list. But only on your authority.
Tyler I appreciate that you feel love toward me and I respect your feelings, but I’ve prayed about it, and God told me we should just be friends.
And, I was going to buy the book, but there were 25 and 1/2 reasons, not 24 and 1/2, I mean, if that kind of error made its way into this blog post, who knows what kind of egregious erroneous bulleted lists may be infesting your book.
Don’t blame Tyler. That’s my fault. Don’t buy my book instead.